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  • A Warming Friendtionship
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  • July's Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Category: Flirting/How We Met

    God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool. – Victor Hugo

    A Warming Friendtionship

    | PA, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (My best friend and are I are incredibly close, to the point where people think we are dating. My friend is male, while I am female. We go out on weekly dinner dates during school, and this happens on one of our ‘dates.’)

    Me: “You know, [Mutual Friend] asked me yesterday if we were ‘a thing.'”

    Him: “Yeah, my parents asked my sister the same thing.”

    Me: “Are we not allowed to have friends of the opposite gender without getting asked if we are together?

    (At this point I pretend to lay down on the table in exasperation and he grabs my hands to warm his own hands up. He continues to hold my hands across that table until he feels his hands are adequately warm.)

    Me: “You know, this might be why people think we are dating…”

    Him: “I was thinking the same thing!”

    This Relationship Died Before It Began

    , | Antwerp, Belgium | Flirting/How We Met

    (Upon leaving the restaurant, a passer-by stops me:)

    Him: “Are you single?”

    Me: *a bit cautious after earlier experiences* “Why?”

    Him: “I’m looking for someone like you to replace my recently deceased girlfriend.”

    A Pub-lished Number

    | West Yorkshire, England, UK | Flirting/How We Met, LGBTQ

    (I’m working the till, a few feet away from the main counter. The customer has brought a pasty and bun.)

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be £1.50.”

    (I take his money and give him his change when he shoves a piece of paper under my nose.)

    Customer: “This too.”

    (I look at the paper, which has what I assume to be the man’s number on it.)

    Me: “What’s this for?”

    Customer: “It’s from the pub last night.”

    Me: “Not me… I didn’t go out last night.”

    Customer: “Anthony?”

    (I shake my head and he takes his paper and goods, and then bolts.)

    Boss: “What was that?”

    Me: “I was just hit on by a gay guy. Even for me, that’s a first.”

    A Hellish Comeback

    | London, England, UK | Flirting/How We Met

    (I work at a bar, where people who flirt with me are quite common. I usually have a practiced good comeback.)

    Customer: “Did it hurt?”

    Me: “When I fell from Heaven? No, but I scratched my knees climbing up from Hell.”

    Death And Marriage

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m waiting in a line at a bank and a creepy man stands behind me and starts talking to me. Bear in mind I’m around 15-16 at the time and he looks to be in his late 30s to early 40s.)

    Guy: “Are you married?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Guy: “Do you want to get married?”

    Me: “Maybe in a few years.”

    Guy: “Do you want to marry me?”

    Me: “I like to know guys before I marry them.”

    Guy: “Do you have a phone number?”

    Me: “Only my parents’. ”

    Guy: “I bet your dad has a shotgun, huh?”

    Me: “No. We don’t believe in guns. I’m sure the chainsaw would work just fine, though.”


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