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    Category: Flirting/How We Met

    God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool. – Victor Hugo

    Standards Are Slipper-ing

    | Williams Lake, BC, Canada | Flirting/How We Met, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s my first year playing on my women’s rugby team, so I’m being rookied. Part of that is having to wear this dress the team picked out for me any time that I’m not playing. It’s actually a really pretty dress, and I get a lot of compliments on it. Also, this tournament is both men’s and women’s, and a lot of the teams just camp on the field. At this point, I’m walking back to my team’s camp with a teammate after dark.)

    Random Drunk Player: “Hey! Hey, you! Pretty girl! You look like Cinderella! If I find your glass slipper, will you agree to have sex with me behind that outhouse over there?”

    (I was really tempted to say yes, just to see what he’d come up with!)

    Some Lines Cut The Cheese

    | NY, USA | Flirting/How We Met, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m originally from Wisconsin.)

    Guy: “Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my head all day.”

    Me: “…really?”

    Guy: “What? You’re from Wisconsin. I thought you’d like something cheesy.”

    (It totally worked!)

    Major Problem Over A Minor

    | Canada | Fights/Breakups, Flirting/How We Met, Theme Of The Month

    (At the time, I’m 13, but I look older, and my dad and I are going to a bar to get my brother, who works there. My brother is just finishing up when a customer, who apparently is also a regular, stops to make conversation.)

    Customer: “I gotta tell you guys, [Brother] is the best waiter I’ve ever had. He’s kind, gets the right orders…” *notices me* “…and has a really hot sister, too!”

    Dad: “Don’t talk to my daughter like that!”

    Customer: “Oh, come on. She’s old enough to make her own decisions!” *to me* “So how about it?”

    (At this point, my brother gets off work, notices what’s happening and comes over.)

    Brother: “No, no, no! Not my sister!”

    Customer: “Oh come on, she’s old enough to make her own decisions!” *to me* “Well, wanna ditch these guys? I’ll buy you a drink.”

    Me: “Okay, I have had enough! First of all, I am 13! The fact that you are attracted to me, a minor, is more than a little terrifying, and you offered to buy me alcohol! That is so wrong! And furthermore, if you call me hot one more time…”

    Brother: “I will send the owner out! He is a friend of the family, you know.”

    Customer: “Wow, I wouldn’t have asked you out if I knew you were such a b****!”

    Happy To Have Not Been Of Service

    | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Flirting/How We Met, LGBTQ, Theme Of The Month

    (As a female cashier at a large home improvement store, I’m sad to say that I get a lot of patronizing and crude customers. This particular gentleman is perfectly normal until…)

    Customer: “So you’re in school, aren’t you? What are you majoring in? Besides

    boys?”

    (He winks and leers at me.)

    Me: *deadpan* “Psychology, and I’m gay.”

    Customer: “So… you’re happy, then.”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “‘Gay’ means ‘happy.’”

    Me: “I’m attracted to women, sir.”

    Customer: “…oh.”

    (He didn’t look me in the eye for the rest of the transaction.)

    Asking Out Is Out Of Bounds

    | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Fights/Breakups, Flirting/How We Met, Theme Of The Month

    (The photo processing shop where I work has one regular customer, a 40-ish something man, known for being lewd and harassing female employees, so much so that none of the other females would help him. I am the only one who will deal with him because I’m typically pretty laid back and hard to upset.)

    Me: “Hey, [Regular], how are you today?”

    Regular: “Fine now that I get to see your pretty little face.”

    Me: “Mhm. Here are your prints.”

    Regular: “When are you going to let me take you out for a nice dinner? I can make it worth your while.”

    Me: “You’re married. I’m not interested.”

    (Usually my directness makes him back off. Not this day.)

    Regular: “C’mon, baby. You know I wouldn’t kick you outta bed unless you wanted to f*** on the floor.”

    Me:That’s it! I’m done waiting on you, as is every other woman here!”

    (I promptly went to a male manager, told him what happened, and said I refused to work with that customer ever again. It was just the last straw for me. The owner, an “old-fashioned” man, wasn’t going to kick a regular customer, who brought a lot of business, out of the store for “just asking out some girls” but it was understood after that day, that NO female would ever wait on him again. I should also add that he is married to a very lovely, sweet woman and they have a couple of kids. I always wondered how she could be with such a prick. Or how I could work for a bunch of male chauvinists.)


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