• Won Liner
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  • July's Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Category: Flirting/How We Met

    God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool. – Victor Hugo

    Won Liner

    , | Auckland, New Zealand | Flirting/How We Met

    (A charming older gent calls to switch his cover to a new car. After a great phone call and general natter about his insurance and what he’s covered for, etc., everything is all sorted and I’m winding up the call.)

    Me: “So, we’re all done! Was there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Thanks! No, that was all – Sorry, I didn’t catch your name?”

    Me: “You’re welcome! My name is Lotte.”

    (There is brief silence from him so I feel like he may be wondering if he heard me right, so I explain.)

    Me: “It’s shortened from Charlotte, but hardly anyone really calls me that, and

    when they do I get the sneaking suspicion that I’m being told off, haha.”

    Customer: “Ah, okay, but I bet your boyfriend calls you Lotto.”

    Me: “Uhhh… Lotto?”

    Customer: “Yeah, Lotto! Coz he’s hit the jackpot with you!”

    (Understandably I was lost for words! It was funny, sweet and odd all at the

    same time! Made my day and I’m still gob-smacked at how quick he was…)

    Can’t Host That Request

    | Newport, RI, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I work as a host at a popular restaurant. It’s my job to welcome and seat everyone that comes in and manage reservations, as evident by the massive reservation book on the host stand just inside the door. A man enters the restaurant alone one night. Usually when people come alone it means they’re headed to the bar.)

    Me: “Hello!”

    Man: “Hi there.”

    (He leans against the host stand.)

    Me: “How’re you doing tonight?”

    Man: “Not too bad, and yourself?”

    Me: “Pretty good, thanks.”

    (He continues to lean, smiling at me.)

    Me: “So, table for one, or are you on your way to the bar?”

    Man: “Table for one sounds pretty pathetic, doesn’t it? Wanna join me?”

    Me: “Thanks for the invite, but I’m on the clock for a few more hours.”

    (He stares at me blankly.)

    Me: “I’m working.”

    Man: “What do you do?”

    Me: “I’m the host.”

    (He stares, confused.)

    Me: “I welcome people and find them a place to sit.”

    Man: “What, here?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Man: “At this restaurant?”

    Me: “You got it.”

    Man: “OH!”

    Me: “So, table for one?”

    Refuse To Be His Charity Case

    | UK | Flirting/How We Met

    (I have just finished work and am walking home. There are a few charity workers on the street leafleting and trying to get donations.)

    Charity Guy: *in his early thirties* “Excuse me, miss, do you mind if I ask how old you are?”

    Me: “17.”

    (I’m actually 19 but they aren’t legally allowed to continue the conversation if I’m under 18.)

    Charity Guy: “Awh, hun, that means you’re too young for me. Well…” *looks me up and down* “You’re too young for the charity. I’d be fine with it.”

    Me: *walks away as quickly as possible*

    Shouldn’t Have Planted The Idea

    | Terre Haute, IN, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I work at a large chain farm store that is very popular in the midwest. I have really bad anxiety so I’m not usually on the register, but today I am helping out since we are short on cashiers. An older man in his 50s comes up to my register.)

    Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store]!”

    Customer: “Hello, young lady! I’d just like these plants here.”

    (He has two full carts of different trees and plants so it takes me a while to ring him up. While I’m ringing him up, he is telling me about how much he loves the store.)

    Me: “That will be $115.73.”

    Customer: “You have such a beautiful smile and beautiful hair.”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    Customer: “Your boyfriend is so lucky!”

    Me: “I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

    Customer: “What? Why the h*** not?! You’re gorgeous! Your last boyfriend must be crazy for splitting up with you!”

    Me: “Actually I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

    Customer: “WHAT! OH MY F****** GOD! WHY THE H*** NOT?!”

    Me: “Well, guys never talk to me and I’m too nervous to talk to them myself.”

    Customer: “But you’re talking to me? I’m a guy!”

    Me: “Yeah but you’re a customer. I don’t have any problems talking to customers.”

    Customer: “I can be more than a customer.”

    Me: “That will be $115.73, sir.”

    (The customer pays while smiling creepily at me and I’m very uncomfortable at this point.)

    Customer: “What time do you get off? I will come pick you up later!”

    Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

    Make Hay While The Sun Shines

    | UK | Flirting/How We Met

    (I am hanging out at the back of a barn owned by my friend’s family, waiting for said friend to show up so we can go out some place. Note, I am female, a lesbian, and have a self-admittedly deep obsession with puns.)

    Friend: *walking up to me* “Hey.”

    Me: *slightly absent-mindedly* “Hey.”

    (Less than a second seems to pass, and a couple of my other friends appear and walk past.)

    Both Friends: “Hey.”

    Me: “Oh, hey…”

    (I notice something seems up at this point; both of the other friends who just walked by usually never come around the area. Just then, the girl I have a crush on comes by, with a huge bale of hay under her arm.)

    Crush: “Hay. And you there:” *pointing at me* “Hey, gorgeous. I’ve been wondering, do you wanna go on a date sometime?”

    (I basically leapt out of my skin at this point. My crush was notorious for hating puns with a passion. It turned out that she and my three friends all devised this plan so that she could ask me out. We’ve been dating for two and a half years now!)

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