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    Category: Flirting/How We Met

    God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool. – Victor Hugo

    Cocky-Blocked

    | Redlands, CA, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I live in a wealthy beach community where the guys can be pretty full of themselves. I’m at a bar about 60 miles inland with my sister and a friend when a group of guys they know comes in. My sister introduces me to one guy.)

    Me: *shaking hands* “Hi, I’m [My Name].”

    Him: “Hi, I’m the cockiest ‘s.o.b.’ you’ll ever meet.”

    (He delivers this line with a broad wink, and I can tell he thinks it’s very charming. All the women and his friends at the table laugh.)

    Me: “Well, I live in Newport Beach, and you’re not even the cockiest ‘s.o.b.’ I’ve met so far THIS WEEK.”

    (His face completely fell and his friends start teasing him about being burned. Needless to say, he didn’t speak to me again after that.)

    The Girl Is A Hit

    | Copenhagen, Denmark | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m a girl. I am at a party with friends, and I’m chatting with a really hot and cool guy.)

    Me: “So, how old are you?”

    Guy: “I’m 26. How come you’re asking?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m just making sure you’re over 18 if I were to hit on you later.”

    (I got very laid that evening. Who said girls can’t make a move?)

    Graduating To Real Men

    | Oakville, ON, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m walking through a park to the corner store when I see some high school kids sitting on the grass. I’m just about to graduate college.)

    Boy: “Hey, cutie, can I have your number?”

    Me: “Sorry, I think I’m a little too old for you.”

    Boy: “Nah, I’m a sophmore!”

    Me: “I’m graduating college.”

    (The poor boy went white then bright red!)

    Very Down Under The Rainbow

    , | NE, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (My roommate is sitting on his bed, staring at the wall and looking glum.)

    Me: “Everything okay?”

    Roommate: “Well, I’m emotionally conflicted. I went to dinner with my study group, and [the girl he has a secret crush on] said she thinks my hair’s cute. So I’m full of rainbows and stuff now.”

    Me: “Then why don’t you look like it?”

    Roommate: “I just realized I only tipped my waiter 15% instead of 20% since our group was so big, and now I feel like s***.”

    Me: “S***ty rainbows, huh?”

    Roommate: “It’s a very odd feeling, believe me.”

    A Jerk Reaction

    | USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m out with a friend who has zero patience with men who won’t listen when you say you aren’t interested, and even less patience with pick-up artists. We’re at the bar having a conversation, and the guy to her right starts trying to chat her up. She keeps looking at me and completely ignoring him until this happens.)

    Guy: “HEY!” *grabbing her wrist* “I’m TALKING to you!”

    Friend: “And a person with half a brain figures out that somebody who ignores them doesn’t want to talk to them. And don’t touch me.” *pulls her wrist away*

    Guy: *suddenly sly, with a very smooth tone* “Well, all I wanted was your attention, baby girl.” *tries to put his arm around her shoulders*

    Friend: “If you put your hands on me after I just told you not to touch me, we’re going to have a problem, kid.”

    Guy: *indignant* “All I want is your number! Is that too much to ask?!”

    Friend: “Yes.”

    Guy: “I’m not going to stop until you give it to me.”

    (She rolls her eyes, and grabs a napkin and a pen, pulling out her phone. She looks up a number that she has listed under “Mine”, and hands it to him.)

    Guy: “Why’d you have to loo—”

    Friend: “It’s a new number, so I saved it in the phone. Now, go away.”

    Guy: “Not until you promise to answer the phone when I call you.”

    Friend: “Oops, sorry that wasn’t part of the deal. You only asked for the number.”

    (He gets thrown out a few minutes later for picking a fight with another guy when he tried to hit on the guy’s sister. Then this happens.)

    Me: “That wasn’t your number that you wrote on that napkin.”

    Friend: *setting down her drink* “I know.”

    Me: “So, what was it?”

    Friend: *grinning* “The rejection hotline.”

    (She explained that she kept it stored under “mine” in her phone for just these circumstances – guys who won’t take no for an answer. We ran into that same guy a few weeks later who was furious that she’d given him the rejection hotline number. She pointed out that he had been harassing her when she’d pretty clearly been uninterested.)


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