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  • Having Trouble Exorcizing The Ex
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  • Category: Flirting/How We Met

    God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool. – Victor Hugo

    Be Quiet Or There Will Be The Devil To Pay

    | Dubuque, IA, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (In sixth and seventh grade there is one boy who will not stop asking me out, even after I literally dump him after a week of dating him. While I appreciate the not-so-romantic gestures, they get annoying very quickly.)

    Boy: “Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.”

    Me: “Shut up.”

    Boy: “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because –”

    Me: “Are you implying that I’m Satan? Because I am.”

    (That shut him up quite nicely.)

    There Is No On Switch

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Flirting/How We Met, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working at a diner as a waitress. I am waiting on an arrogant douchebag, which is business as usual. After fending off typical lame flirting he asks…)

    Him: “So… what time do you get off?”

    Me: “Sir, when it comes to me and you, neither of us will be getting off.”

    She’s A Ladies’ Man

    | LA, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    Customer: “How ’bout a date, sexy lady?”

    Me: *hoarse due to a cold* “The joke’s on you! I’m not a lady!”

    (The customer’s eyes go wide and he quickly flees with his purchase.)

    Coworker: *chuckles* “I do believe he thought that you meant that you’re really a man, not that you’re a tomboyish sort of woman.”

    Me: *grinning* “Fine by me!”

    Pick Me Up Taken Down A Notch

    | OK, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I work inside a convenience store in a casino. We sell some tobacco products but most are behind the counter. As I am making trips to and from the back storage room I notice a group of men coming into the store looking around curiously as my arms are full of merchandise. I am female.)

    Me: “Good evening!”

    Customer #1: *doesn’t speak but nods in acknowledgement*

    Customer #2: “Hey, do you sell cigars?”

    Me: *freeing an arm I point with an open hand palm out gesture towards the cigar case directly behind them* “Right there, sir.”

    Customer #2: “Hey I like that! Very professional!”

    Me: “Thank you!” *laughs* “I’ve been trained well!”

    (Thinking this was going to be a rare group of well behaved young men, I smiled brightly at them going behind the counter to wait on them. And then…)

    Customer #1: “Yeah, I can train you well, too, if you know what I mean.”

    Me: “…oh?” *I kept the smile up to at least be pleasant*

    Customer #1: “Yeah. Hey, you got a boyfriend?”

    Me: *not wanting to get into the fact I’m engaged to a woman with strangers I nod* “Yes, I do.”

    Customer #1: *sneers* “What’s his name?”

    Me: “It’s [Fiancé'].”

    Customer #1: “What’s he do?”

    Me: “He’s training to be a pharmacist technician.”

    Customer #1: “Oh, yeah? Well, I kill people for a living. What do you think about that?”

    (I guess he must have noticed my alarmed face because then he flashed his military ID at me and then I lost my ability to keep my fake smile up, honestly disgusted. I only nodded and said what needed to be said not even bothering to tell them to come back. I admire and look up to soldiers but that was just so low and horrid. I don’t know what bothered me more: the fact his friends didn’t try to stop him, or the fact he thought that was a pick up line…)

    We All Like Mike

    | Iowa City, IA, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m at an anime convention, and I’m hanging out and flirting with a guy I met there, who happens to be named Mike.)

    Me: *frustrated at messing up something simple* “Oh, for the love of Mike!”

    (He and his sister both look at me in shock and horror.)

    Me: “…oh, not you!”

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