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  • November Theme Of The Month: Crushes!

    Category: Flirting/How We Met

    God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool. – Victor Hugo

    Renovating Their Bedroom (Habits)

    , | Burnaby, BC, Canada | Flirting/How We Met

    (I am the only female employee (but also the most knowledgeable) in the tool department. Over the past two weeks a middle aged couple has come in several times for help with a home improvement project. After our first interaction they were so impressed with me they would seek me out, ignoring other associates altogether. This was the third time I have seen them this week and they have waited patiently for 10 minutes while I finish up with another customer.)

    Me: “Hi! How are you two today? How’s the bathroom reno going?”

    Female Customer: “Oh, just great, thanks to you! We would be so behind if we hadn’t had your help!”

    Male Customer: “That’s right; you’re such a sweet girl. We wanted to ask you one last thing.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you need a recommendation for a plumber like we talked about?”

    (They look at each other and smile.)

    Female Customer: “Actually, it’s been so nice getting to know you we were wondering if you would be interested in joining us in the bedroom.”

    Me: *sure I misunderstood the request* “Um, you mean you’d like to make some improvements to your bedroom next?”

    Male Customer: *laughs* “No, dear. We’d like to have a threesome with you. Or a foursome if your partner would like to join us, as well.”

    (I stand there in complete stunned silence for a moment.)

    Female Customer: *to her husband* “I told you this was a bad idea. We’ve scared her half to death.” *to me* “I’m so sorry, dear. I hope this doesn’t change the way you see us. It’s just so difficult to find people you get along with and trust!”

    (At that point I just walked away, unable to think of any kind of response to such an inappropriate request. They left right away and I never saw them again, thank the stars!)

    Putting The Wolf Into Wolf-Whistle

    | CO, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I work as a pawn broker for a locally owned pawn shop, and because of a bet last year, I now wear a different costume every day I work during the month of October. My customers are pretty cool about it, and it works for advertising as people sometimes come in just to see what I’m wearing. All of my costumes are work appropriate and family friendly, as we’re a family oriented shop. On this particular day, I was wearing a Little Red Riding Hood costume, which consisted of a long blue dress, white tights, and a large red cape.)

    Me: *walks in for work, not even clocked in yet, and says hi to my coworker and the customer he’s helping* “Hey, good morn—”

    Customer: *wolf whistles at me* “Ooh, honey, I’ll be your wolf!”

    (I and my coworker stare at him dumbfounded until he leaves.)

    Me: “Did… did that just happen?

    (Because I am so creeped out by that one statement, I change my Little Red Riding Hood costume to jeans, a button up black shirt, a faux-fur collar and the cape. Another day:)

    Me: “Good morning!”

    Customer: *gives me a gross grin* “Oooh, honey! You need a wolf?”

    Me: *after he leaves, face-desks* “Why does this keep happening to me?!”

    One Of The DVDs Should Have Been ‘What Women Want’

    | Peterborough, England, UK | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m about a half hour into a four-hour shift and it’s the end of my work week, so I’m not totally with it. My till is fairly empty, but there are queues forming either side of me. I get the attention of a customer on the till opposite me and he comes over. I put his three DVDs through the till with some general chit-chat, and he starts packing up the DVDs in a backpack.)

    Customer: “Do you have a name?”

    Me: “It’s on my badge.”

    Customer: “How old are you?”

    Me: “23.”

    Customer: “That’s the same age as me. Do you have a number?”

    Me: “Err… why?”

    Customer: “Isn’t it obvious?”

    Me: “Not really.”

    (At this point, I turn to the next customer in the line. My DVD customer is STILL bagging his items.)

    Me: “Would you possibly be able to shuffle round so I can serve these customers?”

    Customer: “I don’t get why you won’t give me your number.”

    Me: “I don’t get why you don’t get that I don’t give out my number to random strangers, sir.”

    All Cashiers Have Checked Out

    | Canada | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m at work on a slow afternoon. A woman and her friend, about twice or three times my age, come in:)

    Woman: *comes up to my register* “Hello.”

    Me: *looks up* “Hi.”

    Woman: *gestures to her male friend* “This is [Man]. His girlfriend broke up with him a few weeks ago.”

    Me: “I’m… sorry about that?”

    Woman: “And now he’s looking for love. Do you have a boyfriend?”

    (Note: I’m single.)

    Me: “Yes, I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years.”

    Woman: *to her friend* “There’s other cashiers here; we’ll find you one.”

    Can’t Fall Far Enough Away From The Tree

    ON, Canada | Flirting/How We Met

    (I have a very common last name. I also have seemingly hundreds of cousins, most of whom live close by and I have never met. I am walking down the hall when I am approached by a guy:)

    Him: “Hey, how’s it going?”

    Me: “It’s pretty good, you?”

    Him: “Good, good. Look, I have been wanting to ask you if you would go to the movies with me or something?”

    Me: “Not a chance.”

    Him: “Wow. That’s just rude.”

    Me: “You’re John [Last Name]. I’m Jane [Last Name]. My dad is Dave [Last Name].”

    Him: “Oh, my god, crazy Uncle Dave? You’re my cousin!”

    Me: “Yup, and I am not quite country enough for this.”

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