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  • May's Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Category: Flirting/How We Met

    God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool. – Victor Hugo

    If The Pick-Up Line Fits

    | Bloomington-Normal, IL, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m shoe shopping. One of the employees and I have been chatting a bit, and discover that we have similar religious beliefs. We also like the same type of music. I’ve found a pair of shoes I like, and they’ve brought out my size. Note: I am female; the employee is male.)

    Employee: *as he’s putting the shoe on my foot* “We gotta give you the Cinderella treatment today! Well, maybe if I could get the shoe on. I suppose I don’t make a very good Prince Charming!”

    Me: *completely startled by this turn in conversation* “I… uh… well, I have weird feet. You’re doing just fine!”

    (We talk more; he rings me up, and walks me out the door. I don’t know if he’ll ever see this, but if he does: Dude, major props for boldness. I was impressed. If you’d asked for my number, you would’ve gotten it!)

    No Longer For Sale

    | England, UK | Flirting/How We Met

    (I have a very youthful appearance; I look late teens or, maybe, early twenties. I go into a beauty shop.)

    Shop Assistant: “Do you need any help?”

    Me: “I’m good, thank you; just present shopping.”

    Shop Assistant: “I’ll come and help you.”

    (She seems very helpful and nice; the store is empty so when she rushes to help me I don’t complain.)

    Shop Assistant: “This is nice.” *grabs my hands before rubbing some cream in*

    Me: *a little taken a back* ” …Err, yeah, I don’t think it suits me though.”

    Shop Assistant: *laughing hysterically* “Oh, you. Let me show you what else we have.”

    (She part follows, part leads me round the store, being very friendly and often grabbing my shoulder, or rubbing cream on my hands. Being a bit naïve it takes me the longest time to realise she is hitting on me. I rack my brain how to break it to her. At the till…)

    Shop Assistant: “So, do you buy a lot of presents? We have some great stuff. You should pop back in.”

    Me: “I, err, yeah, I only really buy this for my wife.”

    (Her face freezes.)

    Shop Assistant: “You’re married?”

    Me: “Yes, with children.” *I hold up my left hand with my ring on*

    Shop Assistant: Oh. The total is [total].”

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Shop Assistant: “…Yeah.”

    Hair And Phone-Line Cut

    | WA, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (My mom is learning/working at a beauty parlor.)

    Mom: *to her current customer getting a haircut* “So, how do you want your style today?”

    Customer: “Just short, same style and everything… Say, you know these other girls working here, right?”

    Mom: “Yeah, a little. We chitchat. Why?”

    Customer: “Do you know if any of them are married?”

    Mom: “…Well, actually, yeah, most are.”

    Customer: “But you’ve got like other friends, right?”

    Mom: “Yeah, of course.”

    Customer: “So, do you know if any other your other friends are married? Or maybe looking into getting together with someone?”

    Mom: “…Maybe. I’m sure someone might be.”

    Customer: “Cool! You’ve got her number? Can you give it to me?”

    Mom: “No. What if they don’t want me to give out their number?”

    Customer: “Oh, come on…”

    Mom: “No.”

    Customer: “You sure?”

    Mom: “Yes.”

    Customer: “How about your number? Here, I can write it down right now.”

    (He takes out his phone.)

    Mom: “Sure, it’s [number].”

    Customer: “Cool! Thanks! And I can call like whenever right?”

    Mom: “Yeah, sure.”

    Customer: “So, like on Sunday afternoon, maybe?”

    Mom: “Yeah, you can call. I might be at church, though.”

    Customer: “Oh, really… Um…”

    Mom: “You know, if I’m busy, though, I won’t be able to answer, but you could call my husband. Do you want his number, too?”

    (The customer quickly put his phone away and remained mostly quiet for the rest of the hair cut.)

    Sweet Sixty-een

    | Westminster, CO, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I am a 16-year-old girl. I work at a breakfast diner as a hostess. I am sweeping the floors when I noticed an elderly gentleman sitting in a booth, looking at me and twitching the whole left side of his face. We get a lot of elderly customers with health problems and I figure he is one of these customers and decide to be polite and not stare at him. After about 20 minutes, the man comes up to pay his bill.)

    Me: “How was everything today, sir?”

    Customer: “Why don’t you like me?”

    Me: “…Pardon me, sir?”

    Customer: “I’ve been winking at you the whole time I have been here and you have been ignoring me!”

    Me: *feeling uncomfortable* “Oh, I am sorry, sir. I was focused on cleaning the floors so that I could go home. Was this going to be it for you today? Would you like to purchase a slice of one of our award winning pies?”

    Customer: “Are you married?”

    Me: “…Sir, I’m sixteen.”

    Customer: “I got married at your age. It was awful. I should have been swinging with all the ladies and having a good time! I am making up for it now though!”

    (The customer pays his bill and winks at me again.)

    Customer: “See you later, dolly!”

    (The customer leaves.)

    Me: *shudders* “No. Nope. That didn’t happen. Ew.”

    Laughing In The Face Of Everything

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Flirting/How We Met, Top

    (I meet a girl through a friend, and said girl is putting up a serious fight with cancer that has invaded her spine and kidneys. Despite this horrific illness, she has a spectacular sense of humor, as well as a seemingly unbeatable spirit. One day, I go to go see the girl all by my lonesome while she is still in the hospital. We have an awesome two-hour conversation.)

    Me: “So, umm… I was, umm… well, I was wondering if, when you finally get out of here, if you’d want to… y’know… go on a date or something.”

    Girl: “Sure.”

    Me: “Really? Are you sure? Because I’ll understand—”

    Girl: “Shut up and give me your phone number.”

    (We exchange phone numbers, and then I await the news that she’s been set free from the hospital so we could go on our date. Unfortunately, three days after I visit her, the cancer kills her. I go to the funeral with my friend, and started talking to one of the girl’s close friends. I tell her all about my visit, how the girl and I had hit it off, how we’d exchanged numbers, and so on.)

    Me: “Her death… it was so unexpected. For the few times I’d talked to her, she always seemed like she was going to fight it and beat it, and she seemed fine three days ago.”

    Girl’s Friend: “Yeah. She was like that. And it just sucks that you guys couldn’t even go out on one date.”

    (We pause just long enough for my mouth/brain filter to shut off.)

    Me: “Y’know, she didn’t have to do all this. She could’ve just said no.”

    Girl’s Friend: *stares at me in astonishment for a moment, and then bursts out laughing* “She would have loved that!”

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