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    Category: Flirting/How We Met

    God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool. – Victor Hugo

    Ended In A Happy Meal

    | CT, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (Friend #1 has recently introduced me to some new people, one of whom – Friend #2 – has made it rather obvious that he is attracted to me. I’m not really interested, but he’s a nice guy and I don’t want to be mean. We’re hanging out, drinking and having a good time, when all of a sudden Friend #2 turns to me.)

    Friend #2: “[My Name], we’ve been hanging out for a while now, and there’s just something I really need to say to you.”

    (Friend #1 and I almost cringe, expecting whatever he says to kill the mood and make the rest of the night awkward.)

    Me: “O-okay… what is it?”

    Friend #2: “Your a** is so fine I could eat a hamburger off of it.”

    (Friend #1 and I immediately fall over laughing, and all further interactions with Friend #2 were a lot less awkward!)

    Trying To Get A Laptop Lap-Dance

    | New Zealand | Flirting/How We Met

    (For three weeks I kept having to come into the same IT store and speak to the same guy over a somewhat important component for my new laptop that wasn’t working when I first purchased it. The last time I go in, I am with my little brother and we are just waiting on the IT guy to bring the new part to the front desk.)

    IT Guy: “So I checked the [important component] works out the back, but we’ll just check it works on your computer too before we close the service job. Some of the other guys here might accuse me of purposely screwing this up so I can keep seeing you!”

    Me: *blushes* “Um, thanks?”

    (I pull out my laptop and we check the component works with it before I take the component and put it away with the laptop, satisfied the whole situation is sorted.)

    IT Guy: “Great! Now that’s all done, you won’t have to come back in here! Although personally I hope your whole laptop dies so you’ll have to come back so I can keep seeing such a pretty lady!”

    Me: “Geez, I hope it doesn’t die! I really need it to work after all this running around trying to find a part!”

    IT Guy: “Yeah, well, I do… But I don’t… But really, I do.”

    Brother: *sensing this is getting a little awkward* “Well, thanks! Bye!” *drags me out of store*

    (To the IT guy: dude, you helped me out so much, but you were so much older than me, and that conversation, wishing me absolute failure with my brand new laptop, got REALLY awkward, really fast. But you made me laugh, and embarrassed my brother heaps!)

    Don’t Curb The Curve

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (My friend’s brother is a friend of mine, but he would like to be more. I’m not interested in him that way. I’m short, but very ‘curvy.’)

    Me: “I think I should go on a diet and lose a few pounds.”

    Him: “No! You can’t do that!”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Him: “Your boobs will get smaller!”

    (And he wonders why I don’t have any romantic interest in him!)

    Age Gap Mishap

    | USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (A regular walks in with her 15-year-old son and gets a book she ordered. They leave and a few minutes later I get a phone call.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hey hun, this is [Customer]. I was just in there a few minutes ago.”

    Me: “Hey, [Customer]. Was there a problem with your book?”

    Customer: “No! My son wanted me to call and tell you that you were pretty. Do you want to go on date with him? I wouldn’t mind.”

    Me: “Um, that’s very nice and I’m sure he’s wonderful but I think I am a little too old for him.”

    Customer: “What? Aren’t you 17?”

    (I look really young for my age and constantly get mistaken for a high school or college student.)

    Me: “No, I’m 28.”

    Customer: *muffled voice as she relays the information to her son* “She’s 28!”

    Customer’s Son: *muffled in the background* “18! Tell her I’m 18!”

    Customer: “I am so sorry. Thank you.” *click*

    Off-Color Dating Technique

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Fights/Breakups, Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m browsing through my messages on an online gay dating site, when I see that I’ve received a new one. Note: I am black and the guy who sent me the message is white.)

    Messenger: “Just another racist. F*** you, b****!”

    (I’m a bit baffled as to why I’m receiving this until I browse through my message history and figure out what had happened. I decide to reply.)

    Me: “Oh. I see I didn’t respond to a message you sent me a few weeks back. I’m sorry. That was incredibly rude of me, but I should say, to call someone a racist is a pretty harsh accusation, especially when you don’t know anything about me.”

    Messenger: “You’re right. I shouldn’t have called you a racist, but yes, that was very rude of you. I have no idea why I even messaged you in the first place, especially since I don’t find you attractive in the first place.”

    (I’m still a little stunned, but after a few weeks, I forget about it until one day I get a message on another website from the same guy.)

    Messenger: “Arrogant n*****!”

    (I reported him and thought it was over until a year later, when I receive another message from him on the original website.)

    Messenger: “You’re sexy.”

    Me: “Thank you, but I seem to recall you sending me a very angry/offensive message when I didn’t respond to you the first time you messaged me.”

    Messenger: “And you reported me. I’m sorry. Should’ve gotten the hint the first time. I won’t bother you again.”

    (Six months later, I receive another message.)

    Messenger: “Piece of s***.”

    (I finally blocked him after that one. How could I have ever let someone like that slip away?)


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