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    Category: Flirting/How We Met

    God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool. – Victor Hugo

    Hair And Phone-Line Cut

    | WA, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (My mom is learning/working at a beauty parlor.)

    Mom: *to her current customer getting a haircut* “So, how do you want your style today?”

    Customer: “Just short, same style and everything… Say, you know these other girls working here, right?”

    Mom: “Yeah, a little. We chitchat. Why?”

    Customer: “Do you know if any of them are married?”

    Mom: “…Well, actually, yeah, most are.”

    Customer: “But you’ve got like other friends, right?”

    Mom: “Yeah, of course.”

    Customer: “So, do you know if any other your other friends are married? Or maybe looking into getting together with someone?”

    Mom: “…Maybe. I’m sure someone might be.”

    Customer: “Cool! You’ve got her number? Can you give it to me?”

    Mom: “No. What if they don’t want me to give out their number?”

    Customer: “Oh, come on…”

    Mom: “No.”

    Customer: “You sure?”

    Mom: “Yes.”

    Customer: “How about your number? Here, I can write it down right now.”

    (He takes out his phone.)

    Mom: “Sure, it’s [number].”

    Customer: “Cool! Thanks! And I can call like whenever right?”

    Mom: “Yeah, sure.”

    Customer: “So, like on Sunday afternoon, maybe?”

    Mom: “Yeah, you can call. I might be at church, though.”

    Customer: “Oh, really… Um…”

    Mom: “You know, if I’m busy, though, I won’t be able to answer, but you could call my husband. Do you want his number, too?”

    (The customer quickly put his phone away and remained mostly quiet for the rest of the hair cut.)

    Sweet Sixty-een

    | Westminster, CO, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I am a 16-year-old girl. I work at a breakfast diner as a hostess. I am sweeping the floors when I noticed an elderly gentleman sitting in a booth, looking at me and twitching the whole left side of his face. We get a lot of elderly customers with health problems and I figure he is one of these customers and decide to be polite and not stare at him. After about 20 minutes, the man comes up to pay his bill.)

    Me: “How was everything today, sir?”

    Customer: “Why don’t you like me?”

    Me: “…Pardon me, sir?”

    Customer: “I’ve been winking at you the whole time I have been here and you have been ignoring me!”

    Me: *feeling uncomfortable* “Oh, I am sorry, sir. I was focused on cleaning the floors so that I could go home. Was this going to be it for you today? Would you like to purchase a slice of one of our award winning pies?”

    Customer: “Are you married?”

    Me: “…Sir, I’m sixteen.”

    Customer: “I got married at your age. It was awful. I should have been swinging with all the ladies and having a good time! I am making up for it now though!”

    (The customer pays his bill and winks at me again.)

    Customer: “See you later, dolly!”

    (The customer leaves.)

    Me: *shudders* “No. Nope. That didn’t happen. Ew.”

    Laughing In The Face Of Everything

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Flirting/How We Met, Top

    (I meet a girl through a friend, and said girl is putting up a serious fight with cancer that has invaded her spine and kidneys. Despite this horrific illness, she has a spectacular sense of humor, as well as a seemingly unbeatable spirit. One day, I go to go see the girl all by my lonesome while she is still in the hospital. We have an awesome two-hour conversation.)

    Me: “So, umm… I was, umm… well, I was wondering if, when you finally get out of here, if you’d want to… y’know… go on a date or something.”

    Girl: “Sure.”

    Me: “Really? Are you sure? Because I’ll understand—”

    Girl: “Shut up and give me your phone number.”

    (We exchange phone numbers, and then I await the news that she’s been set free from the hospital so we could go on our date. Unfortunately, three days after I visit her, the cancer kills her. I go to the funeral with my friend, and started talking to one of the girl’s close friends. I tell her all about my visit, how the girl and I had hit it off, how we’d exchanged numbers, and so on.)

    Me: “Her death… it was so unexpected. For the few times I’d talked to her, she always seemed like she was going to fight it and beat it, and she seemed fine three days ago.”

    Girl’s Friend: “Yeah. She was like that. And it just sucks that you guys couldn’t even go out on one date.”

    (We pause just long enough for my mouth/brain filter to shut off.)

    Me: “Y’know, she didn’t have to do all this. She could’ve just said no.”

    Girl’s Friend: *stares at me in astonishment for a moment, and then bursts out laughing* “She would have loved that!”

    Ignore The Electricity From The Electrician

    | SC, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I am the stage electrician for a touring community theater production. When we tour, the spotlight operators are usually local employees of the theater we’re performing in. I communicate with them over headset because they’re in the front of the theater in the spotlight booths but I sit backstage. We are professional but friendly during the show. At the end of the first night’s show:)

    Spotlight Operator #1: “So, [My Name], y’wanna go grab a beer after the show?”

    Me: *laughing* “Unless the laws in South Carolina are a lot different than the laws in North Carolina, they won’t sell me a beer here.”

    (There is a long moment of silence over the air.)

    Spotlight Operator #2: [My Name], how old are you?”

    Me: “I’ll be seventeen next week.”

    (Another long moment of silence.)

    Spotlight Operator #2: *sing-song* “Jaaaiiillll-baaaait.”

    (I guess I sounded older over the headset than I really was!)

    Thought You Were Smokin’

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m a male working at the register filling the cigarettes when a male customer comes up to my register.)

    Me: “Hi. What can I get for you, sir?”

    Customer: “A pack of [Brand]s.”

    (I scan the cigarettes and tell him his total. He hands me the money. I tell him what his change is and hand it to him.)

    Me: “Do you need matches?”

    Customer: “No, thanks.”

    Me: “Have a good night, then!”

    Customer: “Thanks. You, too.”

    Me: “Thanks, I’ll try!” *I always say this to the customers*

    (I immediately go back to filling the cigarettes.)

    Customer: “Maybe we can try together?”

    (I stop what I am doing and peer around the cigarettes.)

    Me: “I don’t think so!”

    (Customer shrugs his shoulders and walks out.)


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