Featured Story:
  • Laughing In The Face Of Everything
    (410 thumbs up)
  • March's Theme Of The Month: Never Let Them Go!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Flirting/How We Met

    God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool. – Victor Hugo

    Laughing In The Face Of Everything

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I meet a girl through a friend, and said girl is putting up a serious fight with cancer that has invaded her spine and kidneys. Despite this horrific illness, she has a spectacular sense of humor, as well as a seemingly unbeatable spirit. One day, I go to go see the girl all by my lonesome while she is still in the hospital. We have an awesome two-hour conversation.)

    Me: “So, umm… I was, umm… well, I was wondering if, when you finally get out of here, if you’d want to… y’know… go on a date or something.”

    Girl: “Sure.”

    Me: “Really? Are you sure? Because I’ll understand—”

    Girl: “Shut up and give me your phone number.”

    (We exchange phone numbers, and then I await the news that she’s been set free from the hospital so we could go on our date. Unfortunately, three days after I visit her, the cancer kills her. I go to the funeral with my friend, and started talking to one of the girl’s close friends. I tell her all about my visit, how the girl and I had hit it off, how we’d exchanged numbers, and so on.)

    Me: “Her death… it was so unexpected. For the few times I’d talked to her, she always seemed like she was going to fight it and beat it, and she seemed fine three days ago.”

    Girl’s Friend: “Yeah. She was like that. And it just sucks that you guys couldn’t even go out on one date.”

    (We pause just long enough for my mouth/brain filter to shut off.)

    Me: “Y’know, she didn’t have to do all this. She could’ve just said no.”

    Girl’s Friend: *stares at me in astonishment for a moment, and then bursts out laughing* “She would have loved that!”

    Ignore The Electricity From The Electrician

    | SC, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I am the stage electrician for a touring community theater production. When we tour, the spotlight operators are usually local employees of the theater we’re performing in. I communicate with them over headset because they’re in the front of the theater in the spotlight booths but I sit backstage. We are professional but friendly during the show. At the end of the first night’s show:)

    Spotlight Operator #1: “So, [My Name], y’wanna go grab a beer after the show?”

    Me: *laughing* “Unless the laws in South Carolina are a lot different than the laws in North Carolina, they won’t sell me a beer here.”

    (There is a long moment of silence over the air.)

    Spotlight Operator #2: [My Name], how old are you?”

    Me: “I’ll be seventeen next week.”

    (Another long moment of silence.)

    Spotlight Operator #2: *sing-song* “Jaaaiiillll-baaaait.”

    (I guess I sounded older over the headset than I really was!)

    Thought You Were Smokin’

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m a male working at the register filling the cigarettes when a male customer comes up to my register.)

    Me: “Hi. What can I get for you, sir?”

    Customer: “A pack of [Brand]s.”

    (I scan the cigarettes and tell him his total. He hands me the money. I tell him what his change is and hand it to him.)

    Me: “Do you need matches?”

    Customer: “No, thanks.”

    Me: “Have a good night, then!”

    Customer: “Thanks. You, too.”

    Me: “Thanks, I’ll try!” *I always say this to the customers*

    (I immediately go back to filling the cigarettes.)

    Customer: “Maybe we can try together?”

    (I stop what I am doing and peer around the cigarettes.)

    Me: “I don’t think so!”

    (Customer shrugs his shoulders and walks out.)

    The Thrill Of Rejection

    | LA, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’ve just arrived at work and decide to buy myself a drink and snack before I clock-in.)

    Coworker: “Your total is $2.80.”

    Me: *holding up card* “Debit, please.”

    (The guy in line behind me taps me on the shoulder.)

    Guy: “I’ll pay for your stuff, miss. It seems silly for you to run your card for less than $3.”

    Me: *smiling* “That’s sweet but I’ve got it.”

    (My coworker processes the transaction then hands me the receipt. As I start to walk toward the back to clock in, the guy grabs my arm.)

    Guy: “Would you like to go out some time?”

    Me: *jerking my arm away* “I don’t like being grabbed. And I have a boyfriend so that’s a no.”

    Guy: *scoffs* “Oh, come on! I just tried to buy your stuff for you! The least you could do is give me the time of day!”

    Me: “Eh, buddy, I already said I’ve got a boyfriend. Get lost.”

    Guy: “Just give me your number! I could give you a good thrill!” *waggles eyebrows suggestively*

    Me: *rolls eyes* “You really want a good thrill?”

    Guy: “Yeah! Now you get it!”

    Me: “Yeah, sure. If you want a good thrill, go stick your d*** in a light socket!”

    (The guy turned bright red and sputtered a bit before storming out of the store. My coworker laughed like a maniac then called me ‘demented.’)

    How To Look A-lure-ing

    | Woodstock, GA, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m in high school at the time of the story. I’m on a popular app that’s a lot like texting, but with pictures and captions instead. I’m talking to my crush.)

    Crush: *sends picture of her with something in her hair*

    Me: “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but are those fishing lures?”

    Crush: *looking disappointed* “No, [My Name], they’re earrings.”

    Me: *terrified* “Sorry… I have lures that look just like that.”

    Crush: *without earrings in her hair* “All normal!”

    Me: “Noooo, it broke the line! And was a beauty, too!”


    Page 1/5812345...Last
    Next Page »