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    Category: Themed Giveaway

    Boys Are Made Of Slugs And Snails

    | Syracuse, NY, USA | Dating, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m lying in bed with my boyfriend, and he’s telling me about building a shelter for the night as part of a scout troup thing.)

    Boyfriend: “… but maybe I shouldn’t have used that bark because I woke up with like 40 slugs all around. On the shelter, my sleeping bag, everything. I mean, if it had been you that crawled into my sleeping bag during the night it would have been great. I would have stayed there all day. But not the slugs. I like you more than 40 slugs.”

    Earn Your Strip(e)s

    | NY, USA | Engaged, Themed Giveaway

    (My fiancé is making dinner when I wander through the kitchen. We both have fairly deadpan senses of humor and enjoy saying outlandish things.)

    Me: “Oh, hey. I found these in your pants sorting the laundry.”

    (I toss a few folded single dollar bills to him.)

    Me: “You got those stripping, didn’t you?”

    Fiancé: “Yes, I got those stripping. I got all the money through stripping. I did all of the stripping.”

    Me: “I dunno. There’s not a lot there. You must not be a very good stripper.”

    Fiancé: *with great dignity* “I. Am an EXCELLENT. Stripper.”

    It Will Be Their Clowning Achievement

    | Novi, MI, USA | Dating, Themed Giveaway

    (My boyfriend and I are snuggled up in bed and talking about weird fetishes.)

    Me: “I knew a guy once who had a clown fetish.”

    Boyfriend: “Really? I’m trying to imagine how that would even work. Like. The make up, nose, big shoes, and everything?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Clowns scare me, so I didn’t ask about the mechanics.”

    Boyfriend: “I just can’t see clowns being sexy.”

    Me: “Ooh, what if I dressed up like Harley Quinn? Would you want to have sexy clown sex then?”

    Boyfriend: “I’d totally be down for that!”

    Me: “But you’d have to dress like the Joker.”

    Boyfriend: “I’m okay with that.”

    Me: “Yay! I’m so glad I found someone I can have kinky nerd sex with!”

    Death Becomes Her, Part 4

    | Saint Louis, MO, USA | Dating, Themed Giveaway

    (My boyfriend and I are studying for midterms together. It is late and we have gotten a bit loopy.)

    Me: “What is this on my foot?”

    Boyfriend: “Death?”

    Me: “That’s not possible. I am death.”

    Boyfriend: *laughs and kisses me*

    Me: “You dummy, now you’re dead! I’m death, remember?”

    Boyfriend: “Well, at least I got to die with you.”

    Related:
    Death Becomes Her, Part 3
    Death Becomes Her, Part 2
    Death Becomes Her

    Got Your Hair In His Cross-Hairs

    | NY, USA | Dating, Themed Giveaway

    (I have long hair, while my boyfriend is completely bald because he has a large scar on his head where hair can’t grow. One night I am combing my hair before bed.)

    Boyfriend: “Hey, how long have you been growing out your hair?”

    Me: “Uh…11 years? Since I was 14, yeah.”

    (He falls silent and watches me brush my hair for a few moments.)

    Boyfriend: “Can I have it?”


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