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  • Not In A Rush To Have Another One
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  • Archive for 2011

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    Who Needs Resolutions When You Have Resolve

    , | Oxford, UK | Flirting/How We Met

    (Note: This takes place on New Year’s Eve. I am a young woman with pillar box red hair. The male cashier at the music store speaks to his coworker, but loud enough for everyone to hear).

    Cashier: “You can go to the other till. I want to serve this beautiful young lady with the awesome hair. What can I do for you, madam?”

    Me: “Uhm, just this, please.”

    Cashier: “And will you be going out in [local road] tonight so I can celebrate with you?”

    Me: “Sorry, I’m not local.”

    Cashier: “Well, I hope you know, you’ve just ruined the whole of this year for me. And the next one. ”

    (I giggle and go to leave, blushing.)

    Cashier: *calling across the shop* “I HOPE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GUILTY ENOUGH TO COME BACK AND GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER!”

    (The whole shop cracks up. I didn’t go back, but if I hadn’t been attached it might have worked!)

    Some Guys Have No Scents

    | CA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend is very smell-sensitive. I’m showing him the new lotion scent I bought.)

    Me: “What do you think?”

    Boyfriend: “No. Reminds me of an old girlfriend.”

    Me: “Oh, okay. I just won’t wear it around you then.”

    Boyfriend: “That’s alright, it’s like having two girls at once!”

    Not So Pretty On The Inside

    | USA | Dating

    (I was talking with my long-distance girlfriend on Skype a few days before we would see each other over Christmas.)

    Girlfriend: “Guess what!”

    Me: “I don’t know, sweetie, what?”

    Girlfriend: “I like you! Guess what else?”

    Me: *laughs* “Aw, I like you too! And I don’t know, honey, what?”

    Girlfriend: “I pooped twice today.”

    Me: “…yay?”

    A Fruit Punch

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Dating

    (I’m pouring seltzer into my orange juice.)

    Me: “Blame my mother. I can’t drink juice straight.”

    Boyfriend: “This is why you will die in the apocalypse. I love you, but you’ll die.”

    Those Monthly Marriage Fees Will Getcha

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are joking about the cost of some of his supplies for college, including a new laptop.)

    Me: “Man, honey! You are an expensive date!”

    Husband: “No, I’m not an expensive date. In fact, I’m relatively cheap!”

    Me: *sarcastically* “Oh, really?”

    Husband: “Yeah! It’s just the upkeep that’s costly!”


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