Funny & Unusual Romantic & Love Stories - Not Always Romantic

Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 11

admin — Thu, 17 May 2012 19:00:19 +0000

(After reading all of the Till Undeath Do Us Part stories, I have to ask my fiancé his take on it.)

Me: “So, would you shoot me if we were cornered by zombies with no hope of escape?”

Fiancé “No. I’d use you as a shield.”

Me: “WHAT?!”

Fiancé “Hey, you’re going to die anyway. But don’t worry, I’d shoot you after you got bitten.”

Blood And Cholesterol

admin — Thu, 17 May 2012 18:00:24 +0000

(I recently have had some health troubles and have had several blood transfusions. My husband and I are trying to make light of the situation.)

Me: *completely joking* “I think I am becoming a vampire, because I have become
pale and lost my appetite. Can you handle being married to a vampire?”

Husband: “Yeah, but just let me lose a few pounds before you turn me. I’m pretty fat right now, and don’t want to be that way for eternity.”

Wedding Planning: The Bear Essentials

admin — Thu, 17 May 2012 17:00:03 +0000

(My boyfriend takes me to a very nice steakhouse for no apparent reason, except that he has a gift card to use up.)

Me: “What do you want to do tonight?”

Boyfriend: “I don’t really care, but we have to stop by the house. I have a surprise for you.”

Me: “A surprise? What is it?”

Boyfriend: “It’s something we’ve been talking about a lot lately and it’s something you really want. It’s warm and fuzzy. And brown. And not living.”

Me: “A teddy bear?!” *he nods and I laugh* “You know, you’re a terrible secret
keeper.”

(Later, we get to the house.)

Boyfriend: “It’s on the couch under that blanket. I didn’t want the cat to bother it.”

Me: “Okay!”

(I go over to the couch and move the blanket to see a teddy bear with a box sitting next to it. I pick up the box and all of a sudden my boyfriend is right next to me, on his knee. He takes the ring, proposes, and I say yes – of course!)

Boyfriend: “And you said I couldn’t keep a secret!”

(Turns out he ordered the ring more than a month before, had it for over two weeks, and I had hugged him once with it in his pocket!)

Great Minds Pee Alike

admin — Thu, 17 May 2012 16:00:30 +0000

(My boyfriend and I are so close that we’ve formed a telepathic connection of sorts. He has just said something about a ‘narrow passageway for things to move through’.)

Me: “Haha!”

(I’m laughing because the description sounds like a urethra, but I haven’t said a word about it to my boyfriend.)

Boyfriend: “What are you laughing about? Is it because it sounds like I was talking about a urethra?”

Me: “OH MY GOD, HOW DID YOU KNOW?!”

Boyfriend: “I know you. I know what you think.”

Me: “Get out of my mind!”

Update: Themed Story Giveaway

admin — Wed, 16 May 2012 15:00:36 +0000

Hey readers! Just a reminder that you can win a Not Always Romantic t-shirt if you enter our Themed Story Giveaway!

Per popular reader request, we’re changing the contest to a giveaway. This way, everyone has an equal chance to win!

If you recall, entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

Submit a story based on the theme-of-the-month (assigned by Not Always Romantic’s editors).
Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt!

May’s Theme-of-the-Month: Proposals! Got a funny or unusual proposal story? Submit a story today to enter for a chance to win a Not Always Romantic t-shirt! Note: please be sure to include your email address in the submission form, so we can contact you if you’ve won.

Want some examples? Check out some of the fantastic proposal stories readers have already submitted:

PS – winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt: Wednesday, June 6!

A Solution To The Resolution

admin — Tue, 15 May 2012 19:00:28 +0000

(It is new year’s, after our company has gone home. We are lying in bed talking about resolutions.)

Boyfriend: “Are you making any resolutions this year?”

Me: “No, I break them no matter how ridiculous they are. I could suggest a few for you though.”

Boyfriend: “Like what?”

Me: “Clean more, train the dog, make a commitment to your girlfriend.”

Boyfriend: “Are you proposing to me?”

Me: *in my most sarcastic voice* “Yeah. Will you marry me?”

Boyfriend: “It seems so sudden, but okay. This might look better on you though.”

(He hands me a beautiful ring. He still won’t let me live it down that “I” proposed.)

It’s Raining Men-Child

admin — Tue, 15 May 2012 18:00:56 +0000

(It’s raining out and my husband and I are under the covered area in front of our door as I fish out my keys. He is circling around, stomping his feet.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Husband: *stops and stares at me*

Me: “Were you just making footprints?”

Husband: *grinning proudly* “Uh-huh.”

Me: *sigh* “I married a five year old.”

Bath-time Vs Tea-time

admin — Tue, 15 May 2012 17:00:11 +0000

Me: “Darling, I’m going to take a bath.”

Boyfriend: “Okay.”

(As I’m drawing the bath, he puts a space heater in the room so it’s pleasantly warm. He then goes away. I get undressed and get into the tub.)

Boyfriend: “Hello.” *turns off the lights and lights candles*

Me: “Hello. Those are nice.”

Boyfriend: “Yep.” *leaves*

(Not five minutes later…)

Boyfriend: “Hello.” *brings me a cup of hot tea*

Me: “Aww! This is nice too!”

Boyfriend: “Yep.” *leaves*

(Again, not five minutes later, he comes back a third time.)

Boyfriend: “I love you.”

Me: *mystified, but pleased* “I love you, too.”

(He gets down on one knee. I yelp and drop the tea into the tub. Don’t worry, I said yes!)

Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 10

admin — Tue, 15 May 2012 16:00:30 +0000

(My boyfriend and I have an obsession with the zombie apocalypse and have a plan in the event that it does happen.)

Boyfriend: “Babe, if I got turned, would you kill me?”

Me: “Yes. Immediately. I wouldn’t wait for you to change.”

Boyfriend: “Good. I’d kill you too. I love how smart you are.”

Laptop Flop

admin — Mon, 14 May 2012 19:00:50 +0000

(My boyfriend and I share a tiny room in an apartment. It’s usually a mess, and we each have our own laptop that we often use in the bed. This night, my boyfriend is using my laptop instead of his.)

Boyfriend: “Hey babe, your laptop charger isn’t working.”

Me: “Well, just wiggle the cord. You know it doesn’t always work.”

Boyfriend: *plugging and unplugging it* “Nope, still not working. Why don’t you come take a look at it?”

Me: *getting frustrated* “Oh my God. Just use your own d*** laptop. It’s better than mine anyway.”

Boyfriend: “Babe, come fix your laptop.”

Me: “Fine!”

(I walk over and plug it in. I start pulling on the cord, trying to find the base to see if it unplugged itself. I see something on the base of the power cord. I fish it up some more, and it’s a ring. I start to cry and hug him.)

Boyfriend: “I will say that I’m impressed. I unplugged your laptop two days ago, hoping you would notice!”