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    One Ring To Rule Her All

    | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Proposals, Top

    (My partner and I are both geeks, and love Lord of the Rings above all others. He does a really good Smeagol/Gollum impression, along with his actions. I have just arrived home.)

    Me: “Hey! I’m home, and I have dinner.”

    (I walk into living room and lights are off with curtains closed.)

    Voice: “My own! My precious! We founds it!”

    Me: *looking in corner* “Babe?!”

    Partner: “We needs it! Must have the precious!”

    (My partner slowly crawls from corner, I can barely see in the light.)

    Partner: “Filthy hobbitses, they wants to takes it froms us! They wants to hurts us!”

    Partner: *slight change in voice, Smeagol now* “But the masters is kind to us! The master takes care of us!”

    Partner Gollum: “We dont’s need the master. We has the precious!”

    (I am stood there, confused and shocked. I look in my partners hand, something glints.)

    Partner Smeagol: “I’m not listening! I’m not listening!”

    Partner Gollum: “We can go now! We can leave! Don’t you trust us?!”

    Partner Smeagol: “No! Go away!”

    Partner Gollum: “What?”

    Partner Smeagol: “Leave and never comes back! My master will take care of me now!”

    Partner Gollum: “No!”

    Partner Smeagol: “Leave and never come back!”

    Partner Gollum: *screams like in the movie*

    Partner Smeagol: “LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK!”

    *silence*

    Partner Smeagol: “We told him to go away… and away he goes, Precious! Gone, gone, gone! Smeagol is free! Master look after us now! Master even take Precious!”

    (He hands me a ring, a replica of ‘The One Ring’.)

    Partner Smeagol: “Will master be our Precious now?”

    (That is how we got engaged.)