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  • Not In A Rush To Have Another One
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  • Socially Unacceptable

    | Henrietta, NY, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are out to dinner. He’s telling me a story about a call he went on while he was working as an EMT, earlier in the day.)

    Boyfriend: “I went on a call for a little old man. He seemed really excited to see us and really chatted us up while we were there. His wife died a couple years ago and he seemed totally lost and lonely without her, like he didn’t know what to do. She was his whole life.”

    (I think this is sad but sweet and expect my boyfriend to go into a ‘You’re my whole life’ speech. Instead…)

    Boyfriend: “…that’s why I want us to have full social lives outside of each other when we’re married. You know, friends and hobbies and stuff. If you die first, I don’t want to be lost and lonely all the time.”

    Me: *shocked* “Well, I hope you’d be too devastated to worry about your social life.”

    Boyfriend: *covering* “Oh, of course! But, you know, after a couple years, I wouldn’t still want to be at my house alone all the time.” *realizing he’s not winning any points* “Well, I’d hope the same thing for you! If I died first I wouldn’t want you to be bored all the time.”

    (I couldn’t get him to understand why I didn’t think that was a romantic sentiment! This past year I married the love of my life — which was not him. My husband has assured me he’d be totally and utterly devastated if I died and would not be concerned about his social life. He still randomly brings this story up in disbelief and gets mad at my ex for me!)

    And My Axe!

    | USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (My long-distance girlfriend and I are discussing my depression and how I think she’s settling for less than she deserves.)

    Girlfriend: *hugs* “Well now you have me. You have my support. And you have my heart. And my love!”

    Me: “I am SO incredibly tempted to make a Lord of the Rings joke right now, dear.”

    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 36

    | NS, Canada | Dating

    Me: “What would you do if I became a zombie?”

    Boyfriend: “I would freeze you while I worked on a cure.”

    Me: “So you’d kill me, and just delay your grief by pretending that I could have actually survived the freezing process?”

    Boyfriend: “Zombies can totally survive freezing.”

    Me: “So the evil cryogenic scientists would have you believe. It’s just a scam to make money off of rich dead people.”

    Boyfriend: “That’s the difference between you and me. You believe in science.”

    Me: “What do you believe in?”

    Boyfriend: “Max Brooks.”

    Related:
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 35
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 34
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 33

    Can’t Get Over The Breastplate

    | UK | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (My boyfriend is playing an RPG with dragons and magic.)

    Boyfriend: “Look. When I give a woman armour that came from a man, it puts boobs in. That’s so farfetched.”

    Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 19

    | Canada | Flirting/How We Met, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a video game store. There’s a female customer who comes in often, but rarely buys anything. One day, when she comes in, I decide to help her.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, please. I’m looking for a new game.”

    Me: “Okay, what systems do you have?”

    (I listen in shock as the customer rattles off almost every platform.)

    Me: “What games do you like?”

    Customer: “Almost anything. I’m not choosy.”

    Me: “Well, how about Fire Emblem Awakening?”

    Customer: “Already have it. It’s a pretty good game.”

    Me:Pokémon?”

    Customer: “Have it. Almost caught them all… Except for the event Pokémon.”

    (This goes on for a good 10 minutes. Every time I suggest a game she already has it, and most of the time, has beaten it. Finally, I can’t find any others.)

    Me: “So you have all these games, and caught almost every Pokémon?”

    Customer: “Yep.”

    Me: “Marry me!”

    (The customer, sadly, said no. But she still comes in and looks for more games. Now, every time she comes in my coworkers joke about her being the one that got away…)

    Related:
    Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 17
    Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 16
    Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 15


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