(My boyfriend and I have an obsession with the zombie apocalypse and have a plan in the event that it does happen.)

Boyfriend: “Babe, if I got turned, would you kill me?”

Me: “Yes. Immediately. I wouldn’t wait for you to change.”

Boyfriend: “Good. I’d kill you too. I love how smart you are.”

Related:
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 9
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 8
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 7
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 6
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 5
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 4
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 3
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 2
Till Undeath Do Us Part

(My boyfriend and I share a tiny room in an apartment. It’s usually a mess, and we each have our own laptop that we often use in the bed. This night, my boyfriend is using my laptop instead of his.)

Boyfriend: “Hey babe, your laptop charger isn’t working.”

Me: “Well, just wiggle the cord. You know it doesn’t always work.”

Boyfriend: *plugging and unplugging it* “Nope, still not working. Why don’t you come take a look at it?”

Me: *getting frustrated* “Oh my God. Just use your own d*** laptop. It’s better than mine anyway.”

Boyfriend: “Babe, come fix your laptop.”

Me: “Fine!”

(I walk over and plug it in. I start pulling on the cord, trying to find the base to see if it unplugged itself. I see something on the base of the power cord. I fish it up some more, and it’s a ring. I start to cry and hug him.)

Boyfriend: “I will say that I’m impressed. I unplugged your laptop two days ago, hoping you would notice!”

(My boyfriend and I are in the library studying. I’m working on a philosophy paper that needs and example where is someone is guilty, but not responsible.)

Me: “Hey honey, what mistake could someone make driving a train that would crash it?”

Boyfriend: “What kind of train is it?”

Me: “Just in general, like accidentally changing trains or something.”

Boyfriend: “That wouldn’t happen. What kind of train, though?”

Me: “It doesn’t matter. It just needs to crash.”

Boyfriend: “But what kind of train? Depending upon what kind of train, it could malfunction…”

Me: “SHELDON! I just need to crash a train.”

Boyfriend: *quieter* “I like trains.”

(For the record, my boyfriend is a physics major. ‘The Big Bang Theory’ is scarily accurate.)

Related:
Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 6
Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 5
Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 4
Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 3
Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 2
Dating Sheldon Cooper

(I have exams coming up but am procrastinating online. I turn off the computer and pull my notes towards me.)

Me: *to myself* “Come on, woman, concentrate!”

Boyfriend: *in a ‘seductive’ voice* “Yeah, woman. Concentrate.”

Me: “Seriously?!”

Boyfriend: “Sorry, I don’t know how to be seductive.”

Me: “That’s okay, neither do I.”

Boyfriend: “Says the girl who woke me up in naughty lingerie and a bowler hat.”

Me: “That was a lucky guess.”

(I am working as a missionary in California for 18 months. Mormon missionaries have a very strict code of conduct, especially when it comes to dealings with the opposite sex. As a woman, not only are we not allowed to be alone in a house with a man, but we can’t so much as hug someone of the opposite gender. I am working with a very pretty girl of Filipina descent. I’m a short, dumpy redhead. She and I met a man a few days before this, and he asked us to come talk to him at his apartment at a later date. We show up to find him, a friend and his mother waiting.)

Man: *gesturing to my tall, Filipina friend* “Mama, this is the woman I told you about from a few days ago.”

(The mother glares at us.)

Man: “The one I’m going to marry!”

Companion: “Um…excuse me?”

(She and I look at each other in alarm. The man misinterprets this and looks over at his friend, who is a guy.)

Man: *to me* “Don’t be sad. My friend here can marry you!”

Me: “Let’s reschedule. I think this is a bad time.”

(We sent the male missionaries over there a few days later. Needless to say, they weren’t interested, but that was the first and only time I’ve had a consolation-prize proposal!

(My work is having a company luncheon, and I do not want to go. I don’t want to seem impolite, since I am still fairly new. I beg my husband to come with me.)

Me: “Please. I really don’t want to go to this by myself. I go to your work stuff all the time.”

Husband: “Yeah, but you like my coworkers.”

Me: “Please? I love you.”

Husband: *smirking* “What’s in it for me?”

Me: “Why should I have to promise you acts of intimacy?”

Husband: “Who said anything about that? I was going to make you promise to watch Star Trek with me!”

(My boyfriend and I are standing in a gazebo at a public park.)

Boyfriend: “I love you.”

Me: “I love you, too.”

(We kiss.)

Homeless Guy: *yelling from several yards away* “There’s a hotel across the street!”

Boyfriend: *to homeless guy* “Haha, er, thanks.” *to me* “I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

(He gets down on one knee and opens a ring box.)

Boyfriend: “Will you marry me?”

Me: *shocked* “…Yes!”

Homeless Guy: “Did I just witness a proposal? You have my blessing!”

Us: “Thanks!”

Homeless Guy: *walks away, then walks back* “You got a few dollars?”

(My girlfriend and I often text during the work day. We are mutually goofy.)

Me: “I love you, btw. So there.”

Girlfriend: “Oh, yeah? Well, I love you too! Take that!”

Me: “Ha! I think you’re awesome! Counter that!”

Girlfriend: “You brighten up my day! HI-YAH! Watchu got?”

Me: “You always make me smile! Hoo-ah! Testify!”

Girlfriend: “You do nothing but bring me joy! Also you’re damn gorgeous. Ooooh! How you feel now?”

Me: “Bring it, greatest source of joy in my life! Feel the loving pain.”

Girlfriend: “Yeah? Well, with you by my side I feel like I could take on the world! You make me want to be a better person!” *attack kisses* “That’s right. You feel my victory?”

Me: “What’s that? What’s that? Is that you trembling with the awesome knowledge that you are my sun and moon and stars? Oh yeah, you just got served!”