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  • August's Theme Of The Month: Best. Relationship. Ever!

    Trying To Grab The Concept

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Dating

    (I’m lying in bed with my girlfriend when she suddenly climbs onto my chest.)

    Girlfriend: “Why don’t guys have boobs?”

    Me: “What!?”

    Girlfriend: “It’s unfair. You always grope mine but there’s nothing for me to grab!”

    Me: “…”

    Don’t Cheapen It

    | NJ, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I live together. We met online on a free dating site and have been together almost a year. We are sitting on the couch watching TV when a commercial comes on for another free dating site. The commercial is comparing a free dating site and a paid dating site, saying that you don’t have to put out money to “find love.”)

    Me: “Look, we’re proof you can find love on a free dating site.”

    Boyfriend: “Yeah, we found each other on a dating site for cheap people!”

    Choose A Different Period

    | PA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend is making dinner while I sort out some emails. I begin to get a little worried.)

    Me: “I just hope this woman isn’t angry with me.”

    Boyfriend: “Maybe she’s on her period, and she’s trying to be happy but sounds unhappy by accident.”

    Me: *half-laughing, half serious* “You have got to stop that.”

    Boyfriend: “Stop what?”

    Me: “You have got to stop making period jokes!”

    Boyfriend: “Okay, Jane Austen.”

    Me: “…”

    Kidding Themselves

    | WA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend is showing me a picture where a parent is playing with their two-year-old and spelling cuss words in the toy blocks.)

    Boyfriend: “We’re totally going to do that when we have kids.”

    Me: “Yeah, probably. We’re gonna be terrible parents.”

    Boyfriend: “Are you kidding? We’re going to be great parents!”

    Me: “We’ll be good parents.”

    Boyfriend: “We’ll be okay parents.”

    Me: “…At least we won’t kill the kid.”


    | MI, USA | Dating

    (My little brother is about five years old and he’s talking about a girl in his class who annoyed him today.)

    Brother: “If she wasn’t so pretty, I’d hit her with a bus. Because she’s so pretty, I’ll just hit her with a scooter.”

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