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  • Be Quiet Or There Will Be The Devil To Pay
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  • Crush The Celebrity Crush

    | TX, USA | Dating

    (I am female. My boyfriend and I are both attracted to boys and girls. We both know this, and have discussed celebrity crushes before. We’re talking on the bus with our friend.)

    Boyfriend: “How attractive do you think Lindsey Stirling is?”

    Me: “She’s okay.”

    Friend: *laughs* “You’re jealous aren’t you?”

    Me: “No, she just isn’t my type.”

    Friend: “You have a type?”

    Me: *thinks a moment* “I really like Felicia Day.”

    (I pull up a picture of her on my phone and show it to them. My boyfriend makes a pouty face.)

    Friend: “Are you jealous?”

    Boyfriend: “She’s prettier than me.”

    Me: *laughs* “You’re prettier than she is. I promise.”

    A Sign They Should Start Dating

    | Leeds, England, UK | Flirting/How We Met, Top

    (Every evening after work, I get the same bus home. I usually see the same young lady at the stop, and will share a smile and a nod as a greeting. As I’m fairly introverted, I rarely talk to people on the way home; I just listen to music on my wireless earbuds, which are hidden by my hair. One day, instead of the usual greeting, the young lady catches my eye and starts signing something at me. I reach up to pull out my earbuds.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t read sign langu—”

    Young Lady: *turning bright red* “Oh, my god! You’re not deaf! I’m such an idiot! I thought you were deaf because you never respond when I talk to you. So, I tried to learn some sign language so I could talk to you.”

    (The young lady tails off to a mumble, getting redder and redder. I burst out laughing.)

    Me: “Wow. I never thought I was worth learning sign language to talk to!”

    Young Lady: “I’m so sorry. How can I possibly make it up to you?”

    Me: “Well, you can accompany me for a drink for starters. I’d love to learn more about a girl who learned sign language for a boy who can’t read it!”

    (After that encounter it wasn’t long before we started dating. Now she turns bright red as soon as anyone asks how we met!)

    Don’t Let The Hipsters Hear You

    | Canada | Dating

    (My girlfriend and I are sitting on the bus, going to university. I’ve had to switch from my normal backpack to a leather shoulder bag because of a shoulder injury.)

    Me: “So [Friend] said that this bag looks so hipster it hurts, but the practical strap makes it better.”

    Girlfriend: “Honey, almost everything you have is hipster, but you wear it for different reasons.”

    Me: “But I’ve always had stuff like this, mostly for practical purposes.”

    Girlfriend: “Yup.”

    Me: “Does that mean I was a hipster before it was cool?”

    Girlfriend: “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

    Hit (On) By A Bus

    | Austin, TX, USA | Flirting/How We Met, Top

    (I’m on the bus when a girl with a Beatles shirt and a messenger bag with a logo I don’t recognize boards. A guy sitting near me spots her bag.)

    Guy: “Hey, nice bag and shirt!”

    Girl: “Thank you! I’m going to sit next to you!”

    Guy: “So, how are you?”

    Girl: “Ugh. Worst. Day. EVER!”

    Guy: “I’m sorry; what happened?”

    (The girl explains that she’s new to the city and is having a very hard time with the bus system. The guy gives her some tips. A few minutes later, the guy’s stop is coming up.)

    Guy: “Look, can I be frank? I’ve been trying to come up with a way to hit on you, but this is my stop and I have to get off, so can I just have your number?”

    Girl: “Sure!”

    The Un-fairer Sex

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Dating, Fights/Breakups, Mature

    (We’re on a bus heading into the city, and are passing through an area where we regularly go shopping.)

    Me: “Oh, they have a sale on at [Store]! It must be an opening sale; I’ve never seen it there before!”

    Boyfriend: “What do you mean? I’ve taken you there before!”

    (I have no recollection of this. We playfully get into a ‘no you haven’t,’ and ‘yes I have’ argument, when a little old lady sitting behind us chimes in.)

    Little Old Lady: “Don’t bother arguing with her dear; you’ll never win with women!”

    Me: “That’s right; listen to your elders!”


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