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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Talk Show Is Just a For Show

    | UK | Dating

    (In our country, there’s a TV programme which is named after the presenter, who spends the programme fixing family/relationship issues in front of a live studio audience. This year, my boyfriend and I had a threesome.)

    Me: “Can you imagine what would happen if we went on the show and they asked us on a lie detector whether we’d cheated on each other?”

    Boyfriend: “Erm, other than the situation you know about..”

    Me: “Hmm, maybe.”

    (At this point an ad break pops up and the presenter is shown offering people to call into the show for help. He says things like “Does your partner not do anything around the house? Are they unemployed and just sit in front of the telly? Do they not cook, clean, or help to take care of the kids? Give us a ring and…..”)

    Boyfriend: “You don’t cook, clean, or look after my child.”

    Me: *GASP* “You have a child! I knew you were a slut and cheated on me!”

    Ever Expanding Love

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Dating

    Me: “You were so cute last night.”

    Boyfriend: “How so?”

    Me: “Well, I couldn’t sleep, so I got up for a while, and as soon as I left the bed, you just sprawled out on the whole bed, spread-eagle, and never even woke up.”

    Boyfriend: “Well, I’m sure I was just missing you!”

    Me: “Oh, don’t worry; it was cute. Even cuter was when I came back to bed and you scooted over, put your arms around me, and still stayed asleep. I decided that the boyfriend expands to fill all available space.”

    Boyfriend: “That explains so much!”

    Me: “How so?”

    Boyfriend: “I’m a gas!”

    Has A Hand In This Affair

    | PA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are in bed after our alarm goes off, and neither of us want to get out of bed, so we’re goofing around. He has just made an arrogant joke and has his right hand under my butt.)

    Me: “Well, if you love you so much, why don’t you marry yourself?”

    Boyfriend: *holds up his left hand* “Hand, will you marry me?”

    Me: “Wait, aren’t you right-handed?”

    Boyfriend: “Shhh… Don’t tell my other hand!”

    (Suddenly he starts wriggling his right hand under my butt.)

    Boyfriend: *in silly voice of “his right hand* “Let me go! I’ll kill him! I’ll kill him!”

    Me: “Hey, at least your right hand’s got my butt.”

    Boyfriend: “Yeah, my left hand’s in a relationship with my penis, and my right hand’s in a relationship with your bum!”

    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 13

    | WI, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My wife and I discuss whether we would be on each other’s zombie apocalypse teams. I tell her she is on my team because at the very least she’d make a good distraction at some point. Somehow, the topic comes up again in conversation.)

    Wife: “So, I know you were reluctant to put me on your team before…”

    Me: “Yeah, but I’ve had some time to think about that and figured out a new plan.”

    Wife: “Which is?”

    Me: “You’d DEFINITELY be on my team. Because I don’t think I’d want to survive the apocalypse just to live in a world without you.”

    Wife: “…Okay, you just won that question forever.”

    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 12
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 11
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 10

    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 14

    | Czech Republic |

    (I’m in my boyfriend’s bedroom when I accidentally let out a very smelly fart.)

    Boyfriend: “Honey, you know I love you, but you should go home right now.”

    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 13
    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 12
    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 11

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