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  • May's Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    It’s A Sleepy World After All

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are discussing what attractions his wheelchair-using younger brother could do on their upcoming trip to Disneyland. Additionally, my husband has a tendency to twitch when he’s falling asleep.)

    Me: “Oh, hey, and there are a whole bunch of shows there that we usually skip to go on more rides. Have you ever seen that show with the electronic Abraham Lincoln?”

    (As I’m saying ‘Abraham Lincoln,’ my husband’s body suddenly spasms wildly.)

    Me: “Are you okay? Wait… did you just fall asleep while we were talking?”

    Husband: *long pause* “You’re so pretty?”

    You 30-Rock My World

    | NC, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I am teasing my husband about something.)

    Husband: “You’re so meansies.”

    Me: “Oh! Speaking of Liz Lemon, there’s this dress at Old Navy I want you to see.”

    (The amazing part is… he totally understood.)

    Hands On Relationship Advice

    | USA | Dating

    (My roommate’s girlfriend is a little awkward, but she’s also really blunt and sometimes it makes for amusing conversation. This particular evening we were all watching a movie at our place and she is sitting crocheting. Note: I have had difficulty finding dates lately.)

    Me: *watching her* “I don’t know how you do that without looking at your hands.”

    Roommate’s Girlfriend: “You watch your hands with everything YOU do?”

    (My roommate is trying not to laugh.)

    Me: “Well, no, but that’s a little different I think I mean… What’re you even doing?”

    Roommate’s Girlfriend: “It’s a sextopus.” *my roommate pauses the movie and we both stare at her* “Six-legged octopus. Roots words, boys, root words.”

    Roommate: “I know, babe, it just sounds funny… Why would you crochet that?”

    Roommate’s Girlfriend: “Same reason I’d crochet a plushie penis. Because I can.” *shrugs*

    Me: “You did what now?”

    Roommate’s Girlfriend: “Crocheted a penis. Why you need one?” *winking at me* “Is THAT why you’ve had so much trouble with the ladies lately?”

    Fever All Through The Night

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Marriage & Partners

    (I am not feeling too good and walk up to my husband for him to feel my forehead.)

    Me: “Do I have a fever?”

    Husband: “Yes…”

    Me:*whimpers*

    Husband: “…you have a fever for ME!”

    (I couldn’t stop laughing.)

    A Flash Of Realisation

    | Devon, England, UK | Marriage & Partners

    (It’s late at night and I’m being overly silly. My husband is getting annoyed so I flash him.)

    Husband: “Why did you flash me?”

    Me: “Because you were getting exasperated with me and these help! It’s like being magic, except with boobs!”

    Husband: “It’s like being with a drunk. Except boobs.”


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