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    Going Out With A Bean Counter

    | Laramie, WY, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are in the kitchen. He’s making bean soup and I’m tasting to see if it needs additional seasoning.)

    Boyfriend: “You know, [Grocery Store we don't shop at] has SIXTEEN bean soup mix.”

    Me: “And you like that better than this fifteen bean mix from [Grocery Store we do shop at]?”

    Boyfriend: “Yes! It’s so much better!”

    Me: “Why?”

    Boyfriend: “I don’t know but it is much better.”

    Me: “Do you even know which bean is missing in this soup?”

    Boyfriend: “Nah…”

    The Birth Of A New Name

    | Webster, NY, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are at a game night with friends from church. We are playing Battle of the Sexes and it is the boys’ turn to guess a girl-related question. The answer to the question is ‘pregnancy test.’)

    Friend #1: *reads the description*

    Husband: *immediately and loudly* “Birth sticks!”

    (The rest of us erupts into laughter.)

    Husband: “You know!” *getting less confident* “The thing… with the stick when you might be having a baby… You pee on it?”

    Friend #2: “Oh, you mean a pregnancy test?”

    Husband: “Yes! I just couldn’t think of what it was called.”

    Friend #1: *still laughing* “Final answer, boys?”

    All Boys: “Yes!”

    Friend #1: “Correct. Pregnancy test.”

    Me: “Henceforth, they shall be called ‘Birth sticks!’”

    (It took us all a while to cool down from that one. When we end up having children, I may just have to tell him “The birth stick was positive!” and see if he still remembers what that means.)

    Do Or Do Not, There Is No Cry

    | Boston, MA, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (We are cleaning the kitchen before bed.)

    Me: “We need to clean out the fridge before the weekend.”

    Partner: “Okay.” *he opens fridge and starts cleaning*

    Me: “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean you had to do it right now!”

    Partner: “Eh, I’m here; it needs cleaning. I might as well.”

    Me: “You know, that’s one of the most attractive things about you. I try really hard to make sure that I do things just because they need doing, too.”

    Partner: “Well, duh. Where did you THINK I learned it?”

    (I wandered off to the living room to sniffle to myself!)

    The ‘L’ Word

    | ON, Canada | Dating

    (My girlfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship, so we talk on the phone a lot.)

    Girlfriend: “I just want to jump on the train and give you a big hug right now.”

    Me: “That sounds like a plan to me. Sadly, stupid things like logic and logistics and other words starting with ‘L’ get in the way.”

    Girlfriend: “Llamas?”

    Me: “Yup, llamas. There’s going to be a llama standing in front of your train so you can’t leave the station. And I’m going to yell at it, and call it a big furry alpaca wannabe… but it won’t do me any good, because llamas don’t speak English.”

    Lovingly Slamming A Door In Your Face

    | NY, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (My boyfriend and I have just had an argument, and he ends up storming out, slamming the door hard behind him. He comes back a few moments later.)

    Boyfriend: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to slam it that hard. I’m still gonna go for a walk, though. I love you.”


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