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    Your Number One Flavor

    | Asheville, NC, USA | Dating

    (I’m enjoying a milkshake from a national fast food chain.)

    Boyfriend: “You know there is mayonnaise in those, right?”

    Me: “Well, it must work because it tastes delicious!”

    Boyfriend: “What if I’d said they used cat pee instead?”

    Me: “Then cat pee is delicious.”

    About To Be Charged With A Salt

    | Sri Lanka | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband is a gamer. Currently he is playing a game and is totally into it and I am on my period, which means quick temper and I can’t move a lot because of the body ache.)

    Me: “Babe! Can you bring me the packet of salt, please?”

    Husband: “Huh?”

    Me: *angry* “The salt, in the living room, on the table. Bring it.”

    Husband: “Yeah.”

    Me: *losing patience after two minutes* “FINE! Eat your spaghetti without salt.”

    (One hour later…)

    Husband: “Did you forget to add salt?”

    Me: *silence*

    Husband: “I bought a packet like you asked. I kept it on the table downstairs… uh.”

    Me: *glaring*

    Husband: “If I had a gun I would gladly shoot myself right now.”

    Me: “Be thankful that I am not able to move a lot today. You do know that the kitchen is where I have beautiful, shiny sharp tools, right?”

    Husband: “Grenade is better than gun.”

    A Little Bit Wrong

    | AR, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I have just rounded third base. Unfortunately, this had to be done in the woods, and it had rained. I put our footwear in the washing machine, but his socks don’t get very clean. I start washing one in the sink.)

    Boyfriend: “You don’t have to do that you know.”

    Me: “I know.”

    Boyfriend: “Seriously, you don’t have to. Stop.”

    (He then tries to take the sock from me. I resist, finish washing the sock and wring it out, and stop to help him untangle our shoelaces. Afterwards, I grab the other sock and continue washing. After a few more attempts on his part, this exchange occurs.)

    Boyfriend: “You are a stubborn little girl.”

    Me: “Little? After the things you’ve done with me?”

    Boyfriend: “True. You are a stubborn medium girl.”

    Business Before Pleasure

    | Bremerton, WA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are hanging out, playing video games in our underwear. While I’m picking the next round, he starts to get rather touchy.)

    Me: “‘Scuse you. I’m trying to pick here.”

    Boyfriend: “Hey, I’m just minding my own business.”

    Me: *look down at the hand getting rather personal between my legs* “That’s your business, huh?”

    Boyfriend: *grinning broadly* “And business is good!”

    Creating The Perfect Girlfriend

    | Poland | Marriage & Partners

    (My partner and I are big fans of video games, especially those where you can customise your character. We also compliment each other quite often.)

    Me: “Have I told you that you have really pretty eyebrows?”

    Partner: “No? Thank you!”

    Me: “Yes, very nice eyebrows. They have very cool shape. I would use them in character creator.”

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