• Love Is In The Airborne
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  • November Theme Of The Month: Crushes!

    Separately Together

    | Lubbock, TX, USA | Bromance

    (I’m a server at a popular Mexican restaurant. This couple comes in to have a nice evening out. I can tell it’s a first date situation by their conversation. It seems to be going fine. It’s the end of the meal.)

    Me: “Is the check together or separate?”

    (Guy and Girl at the same time:)

    Girl: “Together.”

    Guy: “Separate.”

    (I brought the checks separated. The guy gave me a 20. The girl didn’t sign her receipt.)

    Getting Biblical With You

    , | St. Louis, MO, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I am the cashier. The first customer is a teenage girl, about 18 and 6’0″, who is wearing a leather jacket and skinny jeans, and basically has the “motorcycle babe look” to her. Customer #2 is a 5’2:” man who looks about 15, at the most. The third customer is a middle age man in a suit and tie.)

    Customer #1: “And I’ll take a chicken sandwich with a small concrete mix, please.”

    Customer #3: “Don’t eat like that or your man will be stuck with a fatty wife.”

    Customer #1: *turns to look at Customer #2* “Aww, gee, looks like I like guys and not girls now.”

    (It’s pretty obvious that they don’t know each other, but Customer #2 goes along with it.)

    Customer #2: “Wow, that thing that your mom did at the church really worked!!”

    Customer #3: “That is against the bible, you devil. How about I show you what a real good time is?”

    (Customer #1 has been slouching up until then, but then straightens her back to her full 6’0″.)

    Customer #1: “What would be in it for me?”

    (Customer #3 marches out muttering about the bible and how he gets plenty of women.)

    Not To Be Pushy…

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Marriage & Partners

    (My boyfriend and I go out for sushi. When I got dressed that morning I grabbed the my last clean bra out of the drawer, which happened to be a padded pushup bra normally for “special occasions” – I usually don’t wear them because I’m already a DD.)

    Me: “My back hurts.”

    Husband: “How so?”

    Me: “Sort of the sides. Kind of here, where my kidneys are.”

    (I twist slightly in my seat and put my hands on my lower back.)

    Husband: *silence*

    Me: “Hon?”

    Husband: “Sorry, um, just, you stretched and your boobs look really good in that top. I got distracted.”

    Me: “You see them all the time!”

    Husband: “But I never get tired of them…”

    OMG Love

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My wife and I are leaving a restaurant. She suddenly starts laughing loudly.)

    Me: “What?”

    Wife: “Look at the first part of that license plate across from us.”

    Me: “DMF?”

    Wife: “Yeah, what does that mean to you?”

    Me: “Dumb Mother F***er?”

    Wife: “HA! Me, too. That’s why I love you!”

    (I guess we have perfectly matched bad attitudes!)

    Brunch With Evil Stepmother

    | USA | Fights/Breakups

    (I am at breakfast with my fiancé right after we got our marriage license. Instead of talking to each other and enjoying the morning, we had the joy of sitting next to this gem of a couple…)

    Lady: “You know, I don’t get why she insists on staying with us. It’s not like she’s your close family…”

    Man: “Um… it’s my daughter. I think she’s close family.”

    Lady: “Whatever! She’s lived with her mom for the last few years. What the difference now? Besides, she’s 14 and I don’t want any teenagers in my house. She’s gonna need a lot of attention and be all dramatic and I just can’t deal with that right now. I won’t get to see you as much because you’ll spend all your time with that brat.”

    Man: “Yeah, okay… we’re done here. I’m leaving.”

    (He gets up, leaves, and sticks her with the check. She then proceeds to call someone complaining how he’s a jerk that’s selfish that won’t let her be a good step mother.)

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