• Trolling For Love
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Potentially Lovesick

    | Bay Area, CA, USA | Dating

    (My long-distance boyfriend and I are chatting. I’ve been sick with a cold all day, and my boyfriend was just talking about how he ate too much beef stew from a recipe I sent him.)

    Me: “You are so cute and adorable and I just wanna cuddle you, but you’re not here, and if you were I’d make you sick. It’s not fair.”

    Boyfriend: “The feeling is mutual, and my stomach is so full I fear that if I squeeze you too tightly I’ll accidentally barf it back up.”

    Me: “…”

    Boyfriend: “That somehow was romantic in my mind before I read it.”

    Won’t Grow Board Of You

    | CA, USA | Dating

    (I have started casually seeing a guy that works at the same environmental group that I am doing an internship with. I’m on a long vacation and as such we frequently will carry out rather explicit conversations.)

    Guy: “I meet you at the door, and I lean in close to your body…”

    Me: “Yeah?”

    Guy: “You feel something hard. It’s a clipboard. We’re going canvassing.”

    (Gotta love a good sense of humor!)

    My Spidey Senses Are Tingling

    | CA, USA | Dating

    (I am terrified of spiders. One evening, walking down the sidewalk in semi-darkness, I nearly collide with a spider the size of a quarter. I freak out and run away. I tell my boyfriend about it, and he laughs. The next day, I get this text.)

    Boyfriend: “Did chores. Also, walked the sidewalks and killed as many spiders and destroyed as many spider-webs as possible that I could see so that you didn’t feel icky at night.”

    (I am utterly in love with this man.)

    You Give Me Positive Charge

    | MD, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend is notoriously bad at chemistry, but since I’m a biology student, he hears chemistry terms thrown around a lot. I happen to click on a classmate’s Facebook page.)

    Me: “What is she wearing? Is that mini-skirt tutu?”

    Boyfriend: “What?”

    Me: “She has a molecule drawn on her chest! It’s a benzene ring… why?”

    Boyfriend: “Well, it’s not polar, so I guess she’s not attractive.”

    Me: *after at least a minute of laughing* “I love you.”

    Extra Big Bowls Of Soup

    | Fort Pierce, FL, USA | Engaged

    Me: “I miss you.”

    Fiancé: “I know, baby. Hope you have been well. I on the other hand, have been sick as a dog. I’m at work right now.”

    Me: “I wish I was there. I would use my healing powers on you!… And by that, I mean boobies… and soup… but mostly boobs… Feel better!”

    Fiancé: “I love you, too.”

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