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  • This Future Time It Worked
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  • At This Rate They’ll Be Honey-mooning In Pollen-esia

    | Roseville, MN, USA | Dating

    (About a year ago, my boyfriend put a bee sticker on my phone to cheer me up when I was having a bad day. A couple days ago, I told him I was sad because it had almost completely peeled off. I’m texting my boyfriend while on my lunch break and finally notice that he had put a new bee sticker on it.)

    Me: “So, I’m blind. I only just noticed that you put another bee on my phone. Thank you. I love it.”

    Boyfriend: “I wondered if you noticed it or not.”

    Me: “I haven’t really looked at my phone much until I started my break. But jeez, how blind can I beeeeee?”

    Boyfriend: “You just didn’t have time to stop and look because you were so buzzy with work.”

    Me: “Yeah, I was constantly flying from place to place.”

    Boyfriend: “It`s ok. I forgive you, honey.”

    Me: “Trying to think of more puns is becoming a sticky situation.”

    Boyfriend: “My pun-fu is superior. Feel the sting of shame!”

    Me: “Aaaahhh! It’s horrible! Absolutebee horrible!”

    Boyfriend: “That was adorable. I love you. You`re my queen.”

    When Pillow Talk Gets Dark

    | Slovakia | Dating, Long Distance

    (I am chatting over webcam with my long distance boyfriend. I’m half-way through describing how much I love him.)

    Me: “…sorry, sweetie, I have to stop. I’m going to ask you a weird request.”

    Boyfriend: “Right…”

    Me: “Can you just pick up the pillow directly to your left, and then fluff it, and put it back.”

    Boyfriend: *does this, looking at me like I’m crazy* “So?”

    Me: “No, put it back. Then I’ll tell you.”

    Boyfriend: *puts back the pillow very carefully and precisely, and then looks at me nervously*

    Me: “It’s just it was folded in such a way that it looked like a demon baby face, and I was trying to ignore it but I couldn’t. It was just THERE and I’d try looking at you but my eyes kept looking at it!”

    Boyfriend: *rolls around in tears laughing at me for at least 30 seconds* “Oh, I think I love you even more!”

    And My Axe!

    | USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (My long-distance girlfriend and I are discussing my depression and how I think she’s settling for less than she deserves.)

    Girlfriend: *hugs* “Well now you have me. You have my support. And you have my heart. And my love!”

    Me: “I am SO incredibly tempted to make a Lord of the Rings joke right now, dear.”

    Nymphadoramaniac

    | USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (I have just taken a online quiz to find out which Order of the Phoenix member I am. Upon getting my results, I text my boyfriend.)

    Me: “I’m Nymphadora Tonks!”

    Boyfriend: “That makes perfect sense.”

    Me: “Why do you say that?”

    Boyfriend: “Because you like to change the way you look and you have good taste in men.”

    You’re My Harley’s Angel

    | LA, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (My boyfriend does art commissions for money. We’re both fairly geeky but he’s more into tabletop RPs than comics and history like me. History like lingerie and burlesque. Also note: Harley Quinn was my favorite as a kid and the New 52 is still a sore spot.)

    Boyfriend: “I may need help with a pinup.”

    Me: “How?”

    Boyfriend: “Point out what needs improvement.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Boyfriend: “I’m doing a nude pinup of Harley Quinn.”

    Me: “Is it the real Harley or the new 52?”

    Boyfriend: “I’m doing the old Harley. If she wants me to the new 52 Harley she can find someone else.”

    Me: “I knew you were a keeper.”


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