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    They Love Each Other Just Cos

    | Glendale, AZ, USA | Dating

    (My long-distance boyfriend has texted me to say good morning before I get up for work. This is how the conversation ended. Note: I have a math degree and am a big math geek.)

    Boyfriend: “Well, you must still be in bed or getting up. I’ll catch you later.”

    Me: “Okay. Love you.”

    Boyfriend: “Love you plus sum. That’s supposed to be a math joke, but I failed.”

    Me: “Works for me.”

    Boyfriend: “So it’s functional?”

    Me: “Is this a product of our time together?”

    Boyfriend: “I think it could possibly be the average.”

    Me: “Maybe it’s a sine that my math skills are rubbing off on you. But I won’t go off on a tangent.”

    Looking For Par’Mach In All The Right Places

    | OR, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I am rather geeky, and known to be very enthusiastic about the things I love, such as Star Trek, tea, and weekly board game night with my friends. My wife is generally much less so. We’re chatting online while I’m at work and she’s at home with the kids.)

    Me: “How’s it going, love? Kids behaving okay?”

    Wife: “Oh, yeah, everything’s fine here. Hey, this may sound strange, but I’m talking with [Board Game Friend] online, and how would you feel about having our game friends over on Sundays for Klingon High Tea?”

    Me: “I… I’ve never loved you more.”

    No Fixing This Marriage

    | GA, USA | Divorce, Exes/Old Flames

    (At the time this happens, my husband and I are amicably separated but not legally divorced. When I brought my son’s dog home after having him neutered and realize the date, I can’t resist sending my husband a text.)

    Me: “Happy anniversary. To commemorate this occasion, I made a sacrificial offering of severed testicles. It seemed appropriate.”

    Looking Forward To A Saucy Thanksgiving

    | Urbana, IL, USA | Friends With Benefits

    (I’ll be staying at the girl I like’s house in New York for Thanksgiving. We are texting about plans for that week, discussing things she wants me to bring.)

    Her: “Anything you want?”

    Me: “Chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and you.”

    Her: “I will forget. Remind me the Thursday before you come.”

    (She understood a few minutes later, and was rather embarrassed… but she didn’t say no!)

    At This Rate They’ll Be Honey-mooning In Pollen-esia

    | Roseville, MN, USA | Dating

    (About a year ago, my boyfriend put a bee sticker on my phone to cheer me up when I was having a bad day. A couple days ago, I told him I was sad because it had almost completely peeled off. I’m texting my boyfriend while on my lunch break and finally notice that he had put a new bee sticker on it.)

    Me: “So, I’m blind. I only just noticed that you put another bee on my phone. Thank you. I love it.”

    Boyfriend: “I wondered if you noticed it or not.”

    Me: “I haven’t really looked at my phone much until I started my break. But jeez, how blind can I beeeeee?”

    Boyfriend: “You just didn’t have time to stop and look because you were so buzzy with work.”

    Me: “Yeah, I was constantly flying from place to place.”

    Boyfriend: “It`s ok. I forgive you, honey.”

    Me: “Trying to think of more puns is becoming a sticky situation.”

    Boyfriend: “My pun-fu is superior. Feel the sting of shame!”

    Me: “Aaaahhh! It’s horrible! Absolutebee horrible!”

    Boyfriend: “That was adorable. I love you. You`re my queen.”


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