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    A Healthy Spiritual Relationship

    | NY, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend is trying to fix his mom’s car and is texting me on his progress.)

    Boyfriend: “I did it! I am a god among men.”

    Me: “Definitely.”

    Boyfriend: “I get that at parties all the time. People come up to me like, ‘God?’ And I’m like ‘Nah, sorry, but I get that a lot.'”

    Me: “That’s true. Like sometimes during sex I’ll be like ‘Oh, God!’ and then I’m like, oh, wait, it’s just [Boyfriend]. My bad.'”

    A Relationship Face/Off

    | The Netherlands | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are long-distanced, so we often tell each other we want to snuggle or kiss the other over text or in chat. My boyfriend often replies with the following:)

    Me: “I want to snuggle you!”

    Boyfriend: “I want to kiss your face off!”

    Me: “Why do you always want to separate me from my face?”

    Boyfriend: “Because that’s where your brain is and I don’t want you to question why you’re with me.”

    Love You Infinity Plus One

    | LA, USA | Dating

    (I’ve started over with an ex that I never really got over. It should be noted that I am NOT a very romantic person.)

    Me: “I love you.”

    Boyfriend: “Love you more.”

    Me: “Not possible. My love for you is infinite and unconditional.”

    Boyfriend: “Prove it.”

    Me: “I never stopped loving you and never will. You’re such a kind, gentle person that I can’t help loving you. You are patient, intelligent, and funny. You make me feel like I am the most special woman in the world. You aren’t perfect and you don’t pretend to be.”

    (Pause.)

    Me: “Shall I go on?”

    Boyfriend: “No… I should have conceded long ago on this subject.”

    You Have Discovered A New Relationship Area

    | Westchester, NY, USA | Dating

    (I’ve recently started dating a guy, and we are sending each other sexy texts about things we would want to do in the future.)

    Me: *responding to one of his ideas* “Well, we’re gonna need to a earn a lot more experience points before we make it to that level.”

    Guy: “Did you just insert nerd terminology into our sexting?”

    Me: “Yes. Yes, I did.”

    Guy: “So, tell me more about this level system…”

    (Ever since, we refer to ‘leveling up’ or ‘gaining points’ when we talk about something we haven’t done yet.)

    Murder Is So Hot Right Now

    | MA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are talking about a popular TV show character who is a serial killer, although we both find him attractive.)

    Me: “How come you get angry when [Other Character] kills people but not when [Attractive Character] kills people?”

    Boyfriend: “Because he’s hot.”

    Me: “You think I’m hot. Does that mean I can murder people?”

    Boyfriend: “If you can get away with it, sure.”

    Me: “Good to know.”


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