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    Good Clean Gaming

    | Plano, TX, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m chatting with my girlfriend online about a video game she recently got, ‘Bravely Default.’ One of the characters in the game is called ‘Ringabel.’)

    Girlfriend: “I want the girls to be an awesome warrior. But ‘rinsable’ is a good warrior.”

    Girlfriend: “And I see the autocorrect, but it’s hilarious. He shall be here fore known as ‘Rinsable.’”

    Me: “Well… at least it’s safe to put him in a dishwasher.”

    Spoiling Your Spoilers

    | The Netherlands | Dating

    (I’m telling my boyfriend that I think car spoilers are ugly.)

    Boyfriend: “They can be very useful and also stylish if they’re not bolted on afterwards. They’re kind of like boobs, if they’re not the size and shape and angle the model had intended to have, they’re fake and ugly.”

    Me: “Ha!”

    Boyfriend: “You’ve got beautiful spoilers.”

    Me: “Please don’t ever call them that again…”

    Off-Color Dating Technique

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Fights/Breakups, Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m browsing through my messages on an online gay dating site, when I see that I’ve received a new one. Note: I am black and the guy who sent me the message is white.)

    Messenger: “Just another racist. F*** you, b****!”

    (I’m a bit baffled as to why I’m receiving this until I browse through my message history and figure out what had happened. I decide to reply.)

    Me: “Oh. I see I didn’t respond to a message you sent me a few weeks back. I’m sorry. That was incredibly rude of me, but I should say, to call someone a racist is a pretty harsh accusation, especially when you don’t know anything about me.”

    Messenger: “You’re right. I shouldn’t have called you a racist, but yes, that was very rude of you. I have no idea why I even messaged you in the first place, especially since I don’t find you attractive in the first place.”

    (I’m still a little stunned, but after a few weeks, I forget about it until one day I get a message on another website from the same guy.)

    Messenger: “Arrogant n*****!”

    (I reported him and thought it was over until a year later, when I receive another message from him on the original website.)

    Messenger: “You’re sexy.”

    Me: “Thank you, but I seem to recall you sending me a very angry/offensive message when I didn’t respond to you the first time you messaged me.”

    Messenger: “And you reported me. I’m sorry. Should’ve gotten the hint the first time. I won’t bother you again.”

    (Six months later, I receive another message.)

    Messenger: “Piece of s***.”

    (I finally blocked him after that one. How could I have ever let someone like that slip away?)

    A Man Of Silence

    | MI, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are reading riddles I found online.)

    Me: “Okay. Say my name and I disappear. Who am I?” *note – the correct answer is ‘silence’*

    Boyfriend: “Um… I don’t want to say my answer, it’s not politically correct.”

    Me: “Well… what is it?”

    Boyfriend: “A man.”

    (We both died laughing. He’s a keeper!)

    No Kink(y) In Her Christian Armor

    | Jacksonville, FL, USA | Dating, Fights/Breakups

    (I have gone on two dates with a man that worked in the restaurant next to the one I worked in. I am Christian, which he is aware of, but he is not. I don’t mind as much, as someone can still have the same morals as me without religion. This all happens over text.)

    Boyfriend: “So I’ve been thinking… I really like you. And I’ve been thinking.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Boyfriend: “You’re really cute and I want to sleep with you.”

    Me: “No.”

    Boyfriend: “Why? Don’t you like me?”

    Me: “You know I’m Christian.”

    Boyfriend: “But you can still have sex with me.”

    Me: “No. Stop asking.”

    Boyfriend: “Well, how about you just masturbate in front of me?”

    Me: “Lose my number. Now.”

    (He texted me the next day, again asking if I would come over to his house and masturbate in front of him. I gave my phone to my dad, who had been in the Marine Corp. for 22 years. I haven’t heard from him since.)


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