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    Using The Lawd’s Name In Vain

    | Boone, NC, USA | Dating

    (It is finals week at my college, where I’m a music student. I’ve just taken an exam that I was nervous about. My professor has just told me my exam grade, and I text my boyfriend excitedly.)

    Me: “An 89 on my music theory final! Praise the lawd!”

    Boyfriend: “Good job, honey!”

    Me: “I am so happy!”

    Boyfriend: “I can tell. You praised the lawd.”

    Nothing Can Eclipse Their Love

    | USA | Dating

    (My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and aren’t in the same time-zone. We are disappointed that we won’t be able to watch the ‘blood moon’ together and the discussion turns to address this.)

    Me: “We will watch the moon turn blood red together soon, Love. …God, that sounded morbid.”

    Girlfriend: “Sounds romantic, nonetheless.”

    ‘Rumble In The Bronx’ Before Rumble In The Sheets

    | CA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I love kung fu movies, and we each have our particular favorite martial art movie stars. We are both fans of Jackie Chan. This conversation takes place over instant messenger.)

    Boyfriend: “I downloaded Jackie’s new movie for tonight.”

    Me: “YAY! I LOVE YOU! LET’S GET MARRIED AND MAKE BABIES!”

    Boyfriend: “I love you, too.”

    Me: “But first, let’s watch this movie.”

    Boyfriend: “…”

    Me: “Priorities. I have them in order.”

    I Like Big Hearts And I Cannot Lie, Part 2  

    | CA, USA | Dating

    (I am browsing this site and find a picture that has a funny, semi romantic phrase on it. I decide to try it on my boyfriend, who is chatting with me on instant messenger.)

    Me: “Baby, I love you with all of my butt.”

    Boyfriend: “I know. You do every night.”

    Me: “I’d say my heart, but my butt is bigger.”

    Related:
    I Like Big Hearts And I Cannot Lie

    An Unexpected Burrito

    | CA, USA | Dating

    Me: “Hey, babe, how do you feel about burritos for dinner tonight?”

    Boyfriend: “Hmm.”

    Me: “Burritos and beer?”

    Boyfriend: “Ooh.”

    Me: “Burritos, beer, and all three Hobbit movies?”

    Boyfriend: “Yes! Oh, my god! I love you!”

    Me: “Okay, burritos it is. And I love you, too.”

    Boyfriend: “I love you more.”

    Me: “Pfft. I would walk barefoot through a sea of Legos for you.”

    Boyfriend: “I would walk naked through a swimming pool full of carbonation and pop rocks for you.”

    Me: “…My god, man. You DO love me!”


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