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    No Kink(y) In Her Christian Armor

    | Jacksonville, FL, USA | Dating, Fights/Breakups

    (I have gone on two dates with a man that worked in the restaurant next to the one I worked in. I am Christian, which he is aware of, but he is not. I don’t mind as much, as someone can still have the same morals as me without religion. This all happens over text.)

    Boyfriend: “So I’ve been thinking… I really like you. And I’ve been thinking.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Boyfriend: “You’re really cute and I want to sleep with you.”

    Me: “No.”

    Boyfriend: “Why? Don’t you like me?”

    Me: “You know I’m Christian.”

    Boyfriend: “But you can still have sex with me.”

    Me: “No. Stop asking.”

    Boyfriend: “Well, how about you just masturbate in front of me?”

    Me: “Lose my number. Now.”

    (He texted me the next day, again asking if I would come over to his house and masturbate in front of him. I gave my phone to my dad, who had been in the Marine Corp. for 22 years. I haven’t heard from him since.)

    Love Is Fleeting Unless You’re Competing

    | Muncie, IN, USA | Dating, Young Love

    (My boyfriend and I have been dating for a couple of months. We’re both in college. I’m at my parents’ house in Indiana and he’s at his parents’ house in Alabama for Christmas break. After accidentally saying ‘I love you’ to him for giving me a back massage only three weeks in, I told him he’d have to be the one to say ‘I love you,’ next. He’s been telling me that he’s not going to say it for a really long time.)

    Boyfriend: *via Skype, with the sound cutting out* “—c***. I’ll have you know, I say ‘love you lots’ to my parents when I get off Skype with them, so I guess we’re one for one now.”

    Me: “What?! The sound cut out, so I didn’t even get to hear it!”

    Boyfriend: “What? What are you talking about? Babe, you’re imagining things. That never happened.”

    (The next day, over the phone. I’d just been crying.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I’m being so silly right now.”

    Boyfriend: “Babe, you’re fine. Your silliness is why I love you—I mean like you! S***!”

    Me: *smiling* “I’m sorry? What was that?”

    Boyfriend: “Well, I guess we’re two for one now.”

    Me: “Can I count that one?”

    Boyfriend: “…yes.”

    Me: “Love you, too, dear.”

    Super Secret Life

    | MD, USA | Dating

    (I have just sent my bf a really cute post from Not Always Romantic.)

    Me: “This seriously sounds like something you would do.”

    Boyfriend: “…are we sure that WASN’T me? Cuz I’m kinda thinking it might have been…”

    Me: “Do you have another girlfriend I don’t know about?”

    Boyfriend: “From the sound of it I have another girlfriend that even I don’t know about…”

    Peppered With Love

    | TN, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend is texting me while running errands after work.)

    Boyfriend: “I got you a 12 pack of Dr. Pepper.”

    Me: “That’s the most romantic thing you have ever said to me.”

    Boyfriend: “Really? More than ‘I love you’ or ‘I want to marry you?’”

    Me: “Yes. I’ll trade that for Dr. Pepper any day. I can’t drink your love.”

    Boyfriend: “I Dr. Pepper you.”

    Love Some Body

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Dating

    (I’m texting my girlfriend while I’m having a bad and very busy day at work.)

    Me: “I’ve got a lot less pressure on me now. It turns out the customer whose order I’m working on died last night.”

    Girlfriend: “Hmmm, coincidence?”

    Me: “I’ve said too much.”

    Girlfriend: “I won’t tell.”

    Me: “That’s good to know.”

    Girlfriend: “I’d totally help you bury a dead body.”

    Me: “That’s even better to know!”

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