Causing A Fuss Over The American Way

| FL, USA | Dating

(My girlfriend is getting ready to fly. We are trying to find out if she can bring a blanket and a pillow, we search for about an hour on their website to find a number to call and ask, not finding any she decides to just take it and raise a fuss if they do.)

Girlfriend: “God-d*** it! I’m technically an American! I can at least pretend like it occasionally!”

Bra-zen Observational Skills

| Scotland, UK | Dating

(My boyfriend’s face is level with my chest when I stand in front of him. When I do that, he usually nuzzles his face into my boobs.)

Boyfriend: “I can tell what bra you’re wearing.”

Me: “Which one? How?”

Boyfriend: “Your black one. It pushes your boobs apart more than the others.”

(And we think that they’re not observant!)

Finish Your Essay Or Bust, Literally

| New Zealand | Dating, LGBTQ, Long Distance

(I’m asexual, meaning I don’t experience sexual attraction or lust. I’m also currently struggling to finish an essay for university. My partner and I, both women, are long distance at the moment, and usually talk via IM. I realize I’ve been missing hearing her voice.)

Me: “We need to Skype properly sometime. Maybe that can be my reward for when I finish this darned essay.”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, you need to do that. I’d offer something slutty like ‘I’ll get my boobs out’ but YOU’RE ON THE INTERNET. THERE’S PLENTY OF BOOBS!”

Me: “Plus I’m not boobs motivated, but nice thought.”

Girlfriend: “I’ll make you look at my boobs if you don’t finish your essay!”

The Wrongest Kind Of Light-Bulb Moment

| Chicago, IL, USA | Dating

(The light in my boyfriend’s closet had gone out recently. We bought one light bulb to replace it but it went out a day later. After getting a refund we got another light bulb since the closet light is one of the only lights in his room.)

Boyfriend: “All right, let’s test this bad boy out.”

Me: *deadpan* “All, right but I think you’re going to have to stretch my a** out a bit first for it to fit.”

Boyfriend: *dies laughing*

Failed This Hunger Game

| USA | Engaged

(Due to some unfortunate circumstances, I only get to see my fiancé on the weekends. I have just made it to see him after getting off work.)

Fiancé: “Yeah, I’m really hungry.”

Me: “Me, too. We really should get dinner. What do you want?”

Fiancé: “I don’t know. What do you want?”

Me: “I dunno. Food?”

Fiancé: “We’re going to starve.”

Page 1/96812345...Last