It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m eating dinner at a steakhouse. The waitress brings around a bunch of pink carnations and hands one out to each female diner. 

The man at the next table says something I can’t make out. His date replies: 

Woman: “No. You still have to. This flower isn’t from you; it’s from [Steakhouse]!”

My friend was asked by a date, very early into said date:

Date: “Are you on your period? I have this strange talent where I can always smell when a girl is on her period.”

She picked up her bag and left immediately.

The unnerving part was that she WAS on her period.

My fiancé and I work from home in different parts of the house, but we often start our nightly bathroom routine at the same time. We are quite fond of joking with each other, being older millennials.

One day, he finishes flossing his teeth ahead of me, so he starts flossing — the dance. I’m still doing my dental routine, but I attempt the same dance. My back pops loudly when I swing my hips quickly.

Fiancé: *Paling* “Are you okay?”

Me: “Yes, it’s perfectly normal. It just means I haven’t bent that way recently, so my hips will pop.”

He is relieved, but he’s a jokester.

Fiancé: “Well, thank goodness, but you gotta warn a guy before you start popping while flossing!”

He’s very proud of that one.

I use a particularly well-known dating app that allows you to swipe left or right on would-be suitors. I matched with a girl, and my first impression was that she was very attractive, had a nice complexion, and took care of herself, and based on her photos, she enjoyed the great outdoors. Being an outdoorsy guy myself, she ticked a lot of my boxes. We exchanged numbers and went out on our first date.

That’s when her red flags really began showing.

Throughout the entire date at a restaurant I chose, she was mainly on her phone, texting away. In between that, she asked me a lot of personal questions such as my wealth, how much money I made, etc. Out of politeness, I decided not to cut the date short because I also wanted to avoid any potential drama, even though my date was being incredibly rude and obnoxious with her glaringly evident materialistic lifestyle. After we concluded the date, I went home and deleted her number ASAP.

Months went by without any contact whatsoever. I had pretty much forgotten about her up until I got a text from a number that wasn’t saved in my phone.

Date: “I wanted you to know that I am seeing someone new now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, who is this?”

Date: “Wow. It’s [Date]. Don’t pretend like you haven’t been thinking about me.”

Me: “Not really. I mean, why do you think I haven’t texted you since?”

Date: “It’s okay to be mad. Really. But I just want you to know that you can still win me back by taking me here.”

She then sent me a link to a private island vacation in the Caribbean. The price? At least $30,000 per person. I was speechless for a moment.

Me: “Hahaha, tell me this is a joke, please. You seriously think I’m that desperate?”

Date: “If you’re poor, babe, just say so!”

Me: “It’s not a matter of whether I’m poor or not. I just don’t believe that you are worth spending that much money on.”

Date: “Typical broke-a** boy talk.”

For the record, I would not describe myself as poor. I am self-employed and make a very decent income.

Me: “Huh, let’s see for a second. I took you out to [Expensive Restaurant], drove you in my [Expensive Car] because you didn’t want to book a [Rideshare] from your apartment, and paid for everything on the bill that you wanted, which also happened to be the most or nearly the most expensive thing on the menu. Who sounds more poor, love?”

She didn’t respond after that. I sincerely hope that whoever she’s “seeing” now is either incredibly desperate or just as shallow as her. The whole experience put me off dating for such a long time.

My husband and I have a daughter who is almost three, and I’m about six months pregnant with our son. On a frigid, snow-bound January day, my husband’s parents are getting ready to leave for a week-long trip. Because of the weather, my husband, who will be going over each day to check in at the house, asks if they can just make sure to feed their two cats and the chickens early so that he doesn’t have to make the trek while the weather is still treacherous. They agree, but after they get to the airport, my mother-in-law calls.

Mother-In-Law: “The chickens are fine, and so is [Cat #1], but [Cat #2] got out. Can you please go over when you get the chance and make sure he gets inside for the night?”

[Husband] says sure, he’ll wait a few hours and go then so that the plows have a chance to come by.

When he gets there, [Cat #2] is waiting by the door to be let in — and then promptly darts back outside after eating his dinner. [Husband] tries to go after him, and he slips on some ice. Thankfully, he doesn’t hit his head, but he does land hard on his butt, and he gets a sore wrist. After waiting a bit to see if [Cat #2] will come straight back, he returns home and catches me up on what happened.

Husband: “I figure I’ll wait until after [Daughter] goes to bed, and then I’ll head back and try one more time to get [Cat #2] inside for the night.”

Me: “Do you want me to go instead?”

Husband: “No, it’s still so slick and cold out there. I’d be worried about you and/or [Son] getting injured.”

[Daughter] goes to bed around 8:30 pm, and at 9:30 pm, [Husband] braves the frigid night one more time. Around 10:00 pm, my phone rings.

Husband: “Honey, [Cat #2] is inside and safe, but I managed to lock myself out, and my car keys are on the kitchen table inside. Can you come get me?”

Me: “Oh, s***. Okay, I guess I’ll wake [Daughter] up and bundle her into the car with me… WAIT! Can you call [Neighbor] and see if he can come over?”

Thankfully, [Neighbor] answers his phone and says he’ll come right by so that [Daughter] isn’t alone in the house. When he gets there, I express my thanks and get to my car as quickly as I can without slipping.

When I get to my in-laws’ house, [Husband] uses my spare to get back into the house and get his main key fob, we double-check that the cats are accounted for, and then we head home. After thanking [Neighbor] for his time, I see that it’s basically 11:00 pm and look at [Husband].

Me: “Can that please be the last adventure for the night?”

He agreed — but I was barely surprised when he came down with a sore throat and headache the next day.