Lacking Stylus And Style

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Harassment

(While in high school I work at a grocery store. Our card reader has a stylus attached that fell off, so the manager puts up a sign that said “please use finger.” A gentleman comes up to the register with a few items.)

Me: *scans items* “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “Fine. Just these, please.”

Me: *finishes scanning* “Your total is [total].”

Customer: *looks for stylus*

Me: “Oh, the stylus broke off. You have to use your finger.”

Customer: “That’s what she said.” *winks, creepy smile*

Me: *shocked* “Okay… Have a nice night, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, I will.” *winks again, leaves*

Not The Top Slice Answer

| TX, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend and I are shopping at our local grocery store for beer. This particular beer he wants is best served with orange slices so we head for produce.)

Boyfriend: *looking at oranges* “How many slices come in an orange?”

Me: “…”

Boyfriend: *waiting for my answer*

Me: “However many you slice them into, dear.”

Boyfriend: “Oh.” *blushes*

Not Bready For This Relationship

| Sunnyvale, CA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(We’re getting what we need at the grocery store, but unlike usual we aren’t working off a list because we only need a few things. We tend to run things by each other whether we need to or not.)

Me: “Soup’s the only other thing we need, right?”

Boyfriend: “Yep! Ooh, and can I get more bread?”

Me: “Didn’t you just buy bread yesterday?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, but I already ate about a third of the loaf. Apparently I go through it pretty quickly.”

Me: “Okay! I mean, regardless, you could still get bread. I’m not so mean that I’d tell you you’re NOT allowed to have bread.”

(Later we’re loading groceries in the car and I’m talking about making a stop to get tea.)

Boyfriend: “Sure! And I can get chocolate milk. I mean, that’s okay, right?”

Me: “Fiiiine. Jeez, you want bread AND chocolate milk? You’re so demanding lately. Weren’t we just talking about how we don’t get each other anything for Christmas? What happened to that? Now you want bread AND chocolate milk! Ugh. So needy.”


Apron And Staying On!

, | Bellevue, Washington, USA | Harassment

(I am working as a deli clerk at a very well-known grocery chain. We used to have blue shirts and a black apron. However, we have recently switched to green aprons. An older male customer, who is also missing teeth, comes up to me.)

Me: “Hi, sir! Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: “No, I just have a question. Do you like your uniforms?”

Me: *thinking this is a strange question, but there seems to be no harm in answering* “Well, I don’t mind the blue shirts, because that is my favorite color. The green aprons combined with the blue shirts are kind of a bad combination, though.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I bet you would look great in just the apron.”

Me: “…”

Overly Sweet Cupcakes

| USA | Marriage & Partners

(My husband goes with me to the grocery store to pick up some items to make cupcakes.)

Husband: “Okay, got everything you need?”

Me: “Well, I got you! You’re all I need!”

Husband: “Aww.”

Me & Husband: *both at the same time, making barfy noises* “BLAAH!”

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