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What Your Uterus Can Do To Us

| MA, USA | Exes/Old Flames, Popular

(My ex is trans and was living as male for most of our relationship; however, about a year before we broke up she started her transition. We first started dating in high school, and around that time, I would have horrific period pain, sometimes to the point of immobility. I was able to identify and overcome the cause of it, but it was quite memorable. Some time after our break up, we are out to dinner and discussing how she feels about her transition so far.)

Me: “If I die young, I’ll leave you my uterus in my will.”

Ex: “I don’t want YOURS! I’ve seen what it’s done to you!”

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Some Proper Meaty Puns

| Elk Grove, CA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Punny

(My boyfriend and I are doodling on paper while we wait for our food. We both love puns.)

Me: “I luff you!”

Boyfriend: “Meat loaf you, too.”

(I think he’s a keeper!)

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Not Even Em-bra-rrassed To Say It

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Flirting/How We Met, Popular

(I’m a 22-year-old female and hostess at a bar/restaurant in my town and am used to dealing with both ignorant and creepy customers on a daily basis. An average man in his late 50s is leaving the bar and stops where I’m standing on his way out.)

Customer: “You know what tomorrow is, right?”

Me: “Um, Wednesday?”

Customer: “It’s National No Bra Day.”

Me: “Oh. Yeah, I think I heard about that on [Popular Social Media Site].”

Customer: “So, are you working tomorrow?”

Me: “No, I have the day off tomorrow.”

Customer: “Too bad. I would’ve come in just to see that.”

(He stared down at my chest and winked creepily before leaving while I stood there speechless.)