At Least They Both Forgot

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Marriage & Partners

(My husband and I are friends with a couple who are very sweet, but sometimes a bit clueless. Their wedding date was June 5, 1993. They invite us to dinner for June 5, 1994.)

Me: *lifts my glass of wine in a toast* “So, here’s to you!”

Couple: *looks at me in puzzlement* “Um, thanks. What for?”

Me: “Your first anniversary – isn’t that why we’re here?”

Couple: “Really? How about that! Nah, we just wanted to have dinner.”

(And, on another occasion…)

Couple: “When is Valentine’s Day?”

Me: “I think it’s on a Sunday this year.”

Couple: “No, what DATE?”

Me: “February 14… Same as every year.”


Only Engaging With One Of You

| USA | Flirting, Popular

(My friend (female) just got engaged to her long distance BF who lives near my family. She knows my family, and is always going on with them about ‘approving’ girls I date. I am driving her to her fiancé’s place on a visit home, but we stop for dinner. The waitress ignores her, but waves me to a single stool at the bar.)

Me: “Uh, seating for two.”

Waitress: “Of course, sweetie.” *clears a booth* “What do you want to drink?”

Me: “Just water for me.”

Waitress: “Okay, B R B.” *spelt out as she starts to walk off*

Friend: “And MEEE; I want a pop!”

Waitress: “Fine.” *leaves*

Friend: “Really! I’m RIGHT here! Seriously, she doesn’t know you didn’t give me this shiny ring!”

Me: “Haha, so already no tip for her?”

(Later, the waitress brings out two separate checks without asking. When she returns our cards, with mine there is a napkin and a number on it.)

Friend: *grabbing and tearing napkin* “No, I don’t care how cute she is! Just, no! I’m telling your mommy!”

Me: “Haha! No potential girlfriend, but at least she didn’t charge me for the dessert you stole from me!”


Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 6

| CT, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My boyfriend and I work in different departments of the same place. On a night we are both closing, I finish my closing tasks before he does, so I go to sit and wait for him. I open up the new Pokémon Go game and see something.)

Me: “Babe! There’s a Squirtle outside! I’m gonna go walk around the building to see if I can find it!”

Boyfriend: “Here, I don’t have one yet. Take my phone, too!”

(Our manager couldn’t stop laughing at us.)

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 5
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 4
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 3


He’s Worth Every Penny

| WA, USA | Boyfriend/Girlfriend

(My girlfriend and I are out to eat. I don’t remember why, but we are talking about the financial aspect of eating.)

Me: “I get uncomfortable going to restaurants; it’s so expensive. I feel like an old person who’s angry that you can’t buy candy for a penny anymore.” *self-deprecating laugh*

Girlfriend: “You are the most – frugal isn’t a negative word, is it? You are the most frugal person I know.”

Me: “Really? Am I? I don’t think of myself as frugal. I’m pretty liberal with my other expenses.”

Girlfriend: “Well, from what I see of your spending, you’re even more frugal than [Stereotypically Cheap Grandpa]. And he buys rotten food because it’s cheaper.”

Me: “Wait. I can maybe get behind me being frugal, but how is he second to me?”


Makes You Want To Ice Scream

| MB, Canada | Flirting, Popular

(I work in a little, family-owned ice cream shop and, during this incident, I am working alone. While the shop owner is there with me, at this particular time he is just outside, chatting with some friends. It’s not uncommon for us to get bikers coming in. Though they look intimidating, they’re usually extremely lovely customers and I enjoy it when they come in. Two men ride up on motorcycles, both decked out in tattoos and leather. They’re a father-son duo, about 60 years old and 40, respectively. I greet them as they come in.)

Father: “Well, look at you, pretty in pink!

Me: “Thank you! Is there anything I can get for you or do you need some time to look at our selection?”

Father: Depends. Are you on the menu?

(I’m a 20-year-old girl, but I have a serious case of baby-face, so even with make-up on, I can barely pass for sixteen or seventeen.)

Me: “Uh… no.”

Son: “That’s a shame. I’d like to have you for dessert.”

(They order and, as I go to make their ice cream, they continue making extremely sexual comments about me. I don’t put any effort into hiding my discomfort, but they continue.)

Me: *handing them their ice cream AND trying to get them out of there as quickly as possible* “Is there anything else I can get for you?”

Son: “How old are you, sweetheart? Sixteen?”

Me: “No. Twenty, actually. Is there—“

Father: “Twenty? I never would’ve thought.”

Son: “Me, neither. I guess I don’t have to feel so bad about the things I was imagining doing with you.”

(Between the tone of voice, the hand gesture he makes, and the wink, there’s no mistaking what he means.)

Father: “Same.”

(I was too horrified to respond, and they left to eat their ice cream on the patio. They came in quite a few times, asking for everything from napkins to whether I could show them where our bathroom is (we don’t have one, fortunately) before they left. I wanted nothing more than to go for a long, hot shower to wash the memory of that encounter. One good thing that did come out of it, though, is that the store’s owner told me that if a customer ever treats me that way again, I’m allowed to refuse service!)